Thursday, October 29, 2009

Avant-garde, so to speak

I peeled off the outer wrapper and did this instead.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

She's just being Miley

Modern technology has allowed me to see what I'll look like if I succeed in growing those coveted Cyrus-y locks. I look like Splash-takes-Woodstock-then buys an outfit at Forever 21...and I don't hate it! Thoughts?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Mixed emotions

Good news:
  • Heart and Souls DVD came yesterday! Best $7 I've ever spent on Ebay. Until Reality Bites comes, which cost $4. [And obviously Dreamphone is exempt from this competish because it cost much more than $7.]
  • I got a Nature Valley Sweet and Salty peanut granola bar from the vending machine at work today.
  • I have some totally brill plans for Halloween costumes.
  • Today is John Cleese's 70th birthday.

Bad News:

  • It is snowing. I have to ride the Vespa home.
  • I saw Paranormal Activity last night. ...I'm still uneasy about doing, oh, ANYTHING by myself.
  • And I have to read Heart of Darkness for my Brit Lit class.
  • I look soo frumpalicious today, you don't even know. [especially because I was still too scared from PA to take a shower this morning...even though there's nothing about showers in that movie. I just can't get it out of my mind! Which is of course the mark of a great horror film, so kudos]

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I dare you not to coo


I just love pugs. And baby tigers. And that baby seal.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Smells like ambition

Weird Goals of Mine

1. Learn Esperanto
2. Be an extra in a movie. Any movie.
3. Meet RDJ
4. Meet Bill Watterson, the creator of Calvin and Hobbes
5. Find a copy of Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 for Xbox and beat it for a SECOND time, ha!
6. Work at Disneyworld
7. Memorize the Spanish rap to Pitbull's "The Anthem"
8. Play the Sims 2 and 3
9. Learn to roll my R's
10. Be Xenu for Halloween
11. Find all the hidden Mickeys in Disneyworld
12. Grow my hair long and luscious like Miley's

my greatest desire, courtesy of's Makeovermatic

Say what you will about this piece of jail bait, but she's got a rockin head of hair

Monday, October 19, 2009

Disney knows what the people want

Here is a shot of the newest Disney prince from the upcoming movie The Princess and the Frog. I feel like Bonnie Hunt when she sees Billy Zane in Only You ("HELLO")

Dang. He looks like Boris Kodjoe, which is a great thing.

In other news that is much less creepy than having a crush on a cartoon character, click here for essentially an autobiography.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Because I love old pictures and October

My sister Erin and I, circa 1992 or 1993.
[I'm the one with the bangs]
Fall makes me feel like a little kid again.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Save Kirsten

Ladies and gentlemen, disaster has struck.

Yesterday my mom forwarded me this email:

"Dear friend,

We’re writing with important news about one of the original American Girl dolls—Kirsten Larson®. We wanted you to know that soon, Kirsten’s complete collection will be moving into the American Girl Archives™.

As you may know, countless American Girl fans have found a friend in this brave pioneer girl since her introduction in 1986. Bringing Kirsten’s world to life—from starting at a new school in a strange land to celebrating her family’s time-honored traditions on St. Lucia’s Day—has been a journey we’ve enjoyed sharing.

As we bid Kirsten® a fond farewell, we do so knowing her departure will make it possible to introduce new characters and time periods for our customers to enjoy. In the meantime, don’t miss the opportunity to purchase items from Kirsten’s collection before it’s too late.

Sincerely, American Girl"

What in the world?!! This is so sad. I am one of those "countless fans"! I got Kirsten for my 8th birthday because she looked the most like me--you be the judge.

[little Jordyn on the first day of Kindergarten]

[Kirsten, as pristine as she was on my 8th birthday]

I just don't understand why they even have to knock any of the dolls off the market. Do they not have room? Maybe they should stop adding all those newfangled American Girl of Today dolls...those sluts. They're not even educational. Back in my day, kids LEARNED from their toys! (Picture me yelling this from a rocking chair on a porch while shaking my cane)

And why Kirsten?! Yeah I KNOW Samantha was always the prettiest and richest, and then Josefina was all popular because she was NEW and HISPANIC and BEAUTIFUL (she came out in 1997, by the old do you feel?) but Kirsten is a classic! She's been around since 1986! I wasn't even a fetus yet!

I am seriously very upset about this. Here are just some of the things my hypothetical daughters are missing out on:

Adorable school outfit, which I had/loved
Cute accessories--look at that tiny spoon!

This is horrible. Maybe I'm overreacting, but probably not. I'm going to make a t-shirt that says "SAVE KIRSTEN" and has this image on it:

Seriously. Can Gen X do that if I print out this picture for them?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

It Takes Two to Make it Outta Sight

This is for Alarie, or anyone else reading this who is fortunate enough to be in love. Or at least in like.

(a lot of these are especially funny if you gender-swap)
  • MJ and Spiderman
  • Tarzan and Jane
  • Han Solo and Princess Leia
  • Beauty and the Beast
  • Jasmine and Aladdin
  • King Kong and Fay Wray
  • John Lennon and Yoko Ono
  • Jon and Kate (minus 8)
  • Heidi and Spencer
  • Ellen and Portia
  • Brad and Angelina
  • Pocahontas and John Smith
  • ketchup and mustard
  • Beyonce and Jay Z
  • Santa and Mrs. Claus
  • Ron and Hermione
  • Lupin and Tonks
  • Voldemort and Nagini
  • Mario and Princess Peach
  • Homestar Runner and Marzipan
  • Pam Anderson and Kid Rock (for extra hilarity, get a third guy to be Tommy Lee)
  • Rob and Big
  • Zack and Cody (as in "The Suite Life Of")
  • Michael Jackson and Macaulay Culkin (too soon?)
  • Lady and the Tramp
  • Simba and Nala
  • Flavor Flav and that girl who pooped on the stairs

Any other hilarious couples I should've listed?

Friday, October 2, 2009


Phone calls received: 2

Fun size 3 Musketeers consumed: 5

Lists made mentally: 9

Strawberry Laffy Taffies consumed: 4

Planned outfits for the football game tonight: 3

16.9 fluid ounce water bottles consumed: 1 1/2

Trips to the restroom: 0
[since we moved offices this week, I haven't yet learned where the restroom is. I do need to go though, now that I mention it]

Daydreams: 85 billion

Literally two phone calls. In four hours.

Thursday, October 1, 2009


Okay, obviously I would never REALLY get a tattoo. But if I were kidnapped by a sociopath who forced me to get one or else he'd shave my head and rip off my toenails...or something...I might ask Amanda Wachob to do something like this on my wrist or foot.

images found here

How rad are these? I freakin love 'em. IF I were the type of girl who got tattoos, this is what I would get.