Sunday, December 12, 2010

It's the hap-happiest seeeeason of allllll

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is showing some holiday-themed "Seinfeld" clips.

13 days till Christmas, and just 6 until I go home to Colorado!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

The little diamond floating over my head is glowing an emerald green

So here's what I said to myself in the middle of busting out some aMAZing thoughts in my research paper:

[The Sims 1 soundtrack is playing on Grooveshark:
Click this and you will feel like such an idiot for thinking I'm crazy for listening to video game music for fun. It's beautiful stuff]

"This music is as awesome now as it was the summer before 8th grade. Hey wait a second...this is being played on a piano! I NEED THIS SHEET MUSIC!!!"

[background information: I took piano lessons for nine years, and while I have never mastered the art of sight-reading, I can play pretty well if a.) it's a song I really like, and b.) I practice my A off. I find myself drawn to Andrew Lloyd Webber showtunes and the piano stylings of Vince Guaraldi--who isn't though, right?!]

And guess what? I FOUND THE SHEET MUSIC. I am SO all over this when I go home to Colorado in 9 days.

But I need to finish this research paper first.

Monday, December 6, 2010

If only you could know how long I've been googling stupid things like this

Did you know that behind that mustache, Charlie Chaplin was relatively hot in that early-20th-century kind of way? Bet you didn't.

"Hello, I am Charlie Chaplin. Is my hair real? Maybe, maybe not. My skin is way clearer than a certain 22-year-old girl I know even though no one has discovered salicylic acid yet."

"I am a distinguished, good-looking older man, and if that aforementioned 22-year-old girl walked past me in the supermarket, she might do a double-take because I'm surprisingly handsome and less-surprisingly distinguished."

As you can see, my schoolwork is not going well.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

One year older and...older too

Just a little birthday message for me on my car yesterday morning, left not anonymously but by a friend. (What a hilarious thing to write on a stranger's car though! Getting ideas...) I hope everyone can read it clearly

I saw this on the good old facebook and decided that it was applicable, considering I just turned 22 yesterday.

Place x's on the statements that are true for you.

[] You know how to make a pot of coffee

[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar When they say "dates," do they mean like times when a guy picks you up and pays for your food? Or like days of the week? I'm going to assume it's the latter since I don't need a calendar to keep track of zero.

[] You own a credit card

[] You know how to change the oil in a car I can check the oil...and was taught how to do so this year.

[X] You've done your own laundry

[X] You can vote in an election

[x] You can cook for yourself Technically. "Is butter a carb?"

[] You think politics are interesting


[x] You show up for school late a lot

[x] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket

[x] You've never gotten a detention I've always had this paralyzing fear of getting in trouble. Seriously. I had to write my name on the board less than three times in my entire elementary school career, and each time I felt like I was living my worst nightmare.

[] You have forgotten your own birthday

[] You like to take walks by yourself Only if I'm somewhere awesome like London. [wistful sigh] Ah, those days...those days that were two whole years ago...crazy.

[x] You know what credibility means, without looking it up Is this a trick question or something? Why on earth would they choose "credibility"? Do a lot of people not know what this means? Random

[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week


[x] You know how to do the dishes A skill which is not as common as I had once thought.

[x] You can count to 10 in another language And not just because of "Pretty Fly for a White Guy"! I guess technically The Offspring only go up to 6. And to 5 twice, which is just incorrect.

[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it Generally. Wait, why did I mark this one? I'm somewhat flakey. Oh well I promise I'll get better.

[x] You can mow the lawn

[] You study even when you don't have to I don't study when I do have to.

[x] You have hand washed a car before I think so...? I have some memory that's exactly like the car wash scene from Little Giants. Maybe I'm just revisiting my dreams to live inside that movie.

That noise you're hearing at the beginning of this video? Yeah, that's the tail end of a huge fart. In other news, Icebox is spot-on: what a hunk indeed

[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up Again, what? Is "experience" the most commonly misspelled word or something? You know what's harder to spell? "Misspelled."

[] The people at Starbucks know you by name

[x] Your favorite kind of food is take out

[] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need Literally cannot do this. I always leave Wal-Mart with a new $5 movie, and I always leave Smith's with a jar of queso.

[] You understand political jokes the first time they are said.

[x] You can type pretty quickly


[] Your only friends are from your place of employment

[] You have been to a Tupperware party

[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.

[] You have more bills than you can pay

[x] You have been to the beach

[x] You use the internet every day

[x] You have traveled overseas more than 5 times Well, I have traveled over oceans more than 5 times...counting it

[] You make your bed in the morning They mean every morning, right? Then yeah no.

[x] You realized people of the opposite sex might just make better friends. What does this mean? Better friends than girls? That's just not true. But boys are occasionally pretty awesome...whatever I'm counting this one too.

Total: 21

Alright! I'm only one year behind. That's a relief. I feel like I'm seven years behind.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

52 thought pickup

This is going to be so scatter-brained. Like throwing a collection of thoughts into the air, confetti or 52-card-pickup style, and then deciding that for some reason it would be a great idea to type them out and publish them on the Internet.

[Not a finalist in the Canady Christmas Card Competition]

I had SO MUCH FUN with my family last week...all I want to do is go home for Christmas already! It's literally all I can think about.

Okay not literally because I also just made this list:

SONGS THAT HAVE CHANGED EVERYTHING* aka Songs which gave me one of those moments where you can feel your heart pounding inside your earballs and you feel like this song was chosen by God to be played right at this moment in time because if you could set your brain to music, this is what you'd hear:
  1. "Country Grammar"--Nelly. I heard this song for the first time on American Top 40 with Casey Kasem in 6th grade and just lay there in my bed on that Sunday night with my eyes and mouth open wide and my heart palpitating in time with the sick beats and rhymes. Like I said, it changed EVERYTHING
  2. "Bruised"--The Bens. I listened to this song CONSTANTLY during my junior year of high school. "Constantly" as in I would put it twice on mix CDs for my car.
  3. "Loser"--Beck.
  4. "I Can't Hold Back"--Survivor. This is what truly started my whole '70s/'80s Arena Rock phase (a phase which is not yet over, by the way).
  5. "Sincerely Me"--New Found Glory. Another song from 6th grade which was very, very important to me.
  6. "Catch My Disease"--Ben Lee. I could hardly believe that such a cheerful, cutesy, seriously good song existed. And then I heard it everywhere the year after I heard it. In other news, the intro makes an excellent ringtone.
  7. "Annie Waits"--Ben Folds. This song is what began my obsession with Ben Folds. OBSESSED WITH HIM he is definitely my most favorite musical artist of all time.
  8. "Hurricane"--Something Corporate. Junior year was an epic year for me, music-wise
  9. "Encore/Numb" mashup--Jay-Z and Linkin Park. I think this was the first mash-up I ever heard. Needless to say I almost fell over when the epic sweetness flew into my eardrums.
  10. "Are You Gonna be my Girl"--Jet. I heard this on the radio when my mom dropped me off at school in the middle of the day after a dentist appointment when I was a freshman, and I researched online to find out when the CD was coming out, and I bought it the first day it was on sale...and now this song is literally everywhere. [Secret: I'm not sick of it at all]

And here's something that is even cuter than I remember it being...Patrick Wilson is such a hottie

*and by "everything" obviously I mean "me."

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I am prone to run-on sentences.

And now an actual excerpt, unabridged*, from my actual journal:


"Today at the airport something truly amazing happened. So Erin and I land in Salt Lake, and we're leaving the terminal and just walking up to the baggage claim, when this dad walks past us going the other way (towards the terminals), and I'm just looking at him, thinking, "Whoa that dad is hot," when he looks me right in my eyeballs and his bright blue eyes glitter like Kate Middleton's freaking sapphire engagement ring
[supposed to be parentheses. Can you believe Paint doesn't have a Giant Parentheses button?!]

and it clicks--I know him. That hot dad is JAMES MARSDEN. [underlined twice] For real. JAMES MARSDEN!!! And while our eyes were locked not unlike Harry Potter and Voldemort's wands in the cemetary in Goblet of Fire and I was finally registering who this was I was staring at, he had this subtle, slight smirk on his face like he knew we knew who he was. It was so awesome.

"Plus he had one little boy on his shoulders and one holding his hand as they walked entourage-less toward the Southwest terminal. I mean, Southwest? We fly Southwest. We're out for bargains, not for comfort and/or class."

And then I drift off into a fatigue/titillation-induced spiral of unrelated musings--typical of my journal entries. But that actually happened!

*Can an excerpt be unabridged? By definition, isn't an excerpt an abridgement of a larger piece of work? So is saying that my excerpt is unabridged...a lie????

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I love vacation

Quick update before I start simultaneously start playing the Sims and watching Hannah Montana: the Movie:

  • Media Fast? Yeah, I made that crap my b-word. Except for when I'd accidentally walk in on my roommates watching Half Blood Prince. And when the radio would be on in a car. And when TV would be on in a restaurant
  • Speaking of Harry Potter, Deathly Hallows Part 1 was pretty awesome. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were finally believable as best friends, the scary parts were freaking scary, and it was just a quality adaptation. Except for this part (and sorry for the reeeeally bad video...this is really just to add something interesting to this post):

  • I installed the Sims on my laptop. I figure Thanksgiving Break is the perfect time to play it for the first time since my freshman year of high school. I'll probably have to uninstall it before I head back to Provo because I'd never leave my apartment otherwise.

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow everyone!

Friday, November 12, 2010

The Berenstein Bears and Too Much Human Interaction

So for the next three days (Saturday, Sunday, and Monday) I will be fasting from all media forms. This includes the following:
  • cell phone
  • internet
  • computers at all--I'm not even allowed to type anything.
  • TV
  • music (this apparently includes iPods. I am going to have to fudge this one ever-so-slightly because tomorrow I have to cart myself and yet-to-be-named ward members 1 1/2 hours to Manti, and I don't want to force them into a music-less trip, so I will allow myself to listen to church music and possibly Christmas. But not any new music, savvy?)
  • movies
I am not happy about this. If you need to contact me, call/text/whatever one of my roommates I guess.

If I were designing this ASSignment, I would have made my students give up ONE form of media for three days. Like just the internet. Or just their cell phones. I mean, we're away from home! What if my parents need to talk to me? What if my siblings need to talk to me? At least that way I'd be reachable by either email or phone. What if I break my leg when I'm alone somewhere? Who will call 911 for me?*

What a buzzkill. So yeah if you want to invite me to something fun this weekend, please send it either by the US Postal Service, by homing pigeon, or by Occlumency because otherwise I won't know about it.

*Yeah right. That situation would result in me lying in my reflection paper because let's face it: I'm not that great of a student.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


If I do two posts in one day, it must be important, right? RIGHT. Thanks to Emily over at Cinebrooding, I found out that Robert Downey Jr. is now the voice of the Planter's peanut man. What a holly jolly Christmas miracle!

AND Val Kilmer is reunited with his old co-star (and probably his best friend) from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang as the voice of the Nutcracker, if the Youtube comments are to be trusted (which they generally are not but I believe them today)! Ah mah gahsh

"The Saga Begins" changed my life, you guys

I don't regret reinstating my Twitter activity because Weird Al has a Twitter, and I've always tried to make decisions that he might deem wise; thus I don't feel at all lame for rejoining him in the everlasting (and, might I add, stressful) quest to come up with the perfect 140-character-long quip.

Here is what came up when I googled "weird al friends," back when the plan was to generic-Photoshop my face onto the body of one of his friends standing by him. This was way funnier than anything I could have created.

Anyway, my stupid twitter name is @JordynCanady, shocker. Impressiveness is not guaranteed.

Monday, November 8, 2010

It's an EXPRESSION; it means he thought you were sweet

I have found so many cute clothes at Urban Outfitters. I understand the new hipster-y, modern-while-also-being-ironically-outdated, untamed hair trend...I GET IT. I generally think that crap looks cool.

What I don't understand is why they have their models stand there like they're my half-conscious little sister Tricia, age 8, needing to pee at 1 a.m. and waiting with the utmost agitation for me to finish brushing my teeth.

The cool kids: "This day is perfect!...but who invited Loony Lovegood?"

It really just reminds me of this:

I can just see the U.O. photographer..."No...Tai, move a little closer."

And all that reminds me of this:

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

My love for flow charts = my love for Mad Libs

I wish I dressed in such a way that someday, somehow, I could grace the html of The Sartorialist. He just doesn't have room for a girl whose style is best described as young-librarian/Anthropologie-clearance-rack/pretending-it's-not-from-Forever 21/wore-this-skirt-three-days-in-a-row-to-work chic. I guess I do have a Vespa. I guess we'll have to test this flow chart out if The Sartorialist ever finds himself in Provo, the fashion capitol of the West Wasatch Front! (Click and then click to zoom in so you can read's worth it.)

Obviously I can't take credit for finding this; I saw it on someone else's blog like six months ago. It's still hilarious though--have you ever noticed that flow charts make everything just that much funnier?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The facts were these:

  • "Home for the Holidays" came on my shuffle today, and I did not skip it
  • I have the makings of a trophy-winning cold (as opposed to a common one...?)
  • My birthday is exactly one month away
  • There's snow on Timp
  • I made my annual Thanksgiving Break hair appointment today

Does this make it legal for me to watch Home Alone?

Friday, October 29, 2010

"Sure, the guy in the $600 banana suit...come on!"

Just now at work, I smelled something that smelled exactly like either the album liner notes of the 98 degrees Revelation CD or my dad's old Avalon interior that I rode in away from the Wal Mart where I bought the 98 degrees Revelation CD. Seriously. I know what I smelled, and what I smelled was the moment when I first listened to "Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)".

In other news, I just watched the Halloween episode of "Community," and this may be wishful thinking, but I think there were some "Arrested Development" references! Jeff actually said, "I'm wearing a $6000 suit," and Rich was wearing a BANANA SUIT. I think it was intentional.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Passive-aggressive retaliation for someone who doesn't even read this blog

As much as I might complain, both here on the World Wide Web and in real life, I love being an English major. The English major is one of the most practical majors offered at the collegiate level, and here is why:

  1. You learn how to express yourself effectively in writing and in speech. Well, other English majors learn how to express themselves well in speech. Written Jordyn > speaking Jordyn. But still.

  2. You learn that your reactions and opinions matter and have real value, and then you learn how to persuade other people to respect and even agree with that opinion.

  3. GRAMMAR AND SPELLING. People say that these things don't really matter, but they do and always will. Poor grammar and spelling skills are the equivalent of missing one of your front teeth.

  4. I am taking this AWESOME senior capstone class right now focusing on the teachings of Carl Jung, who taught that in order to achieve balance within yourself, you need to acknowledge not only your best traits but also your worst. Only when you accept your complete self can you really be at peace with yourself, your life, and the world. IT IS THE BEST CLASS EVER, and I wouldn't ever have even heard of Jung if I weren't an English major!

I might not make bank in any future career I may have, but I consider skills and ideas like these pretty important outside the classroom and/or workplace.

There are no small parts, just small [blog posts]

It FINALLY feels like Halloween! We watched Hocus Pocus tonight, and tomorrow we're watching Beetlejuice! And then on Sunday we'll watch Nightmare Before Christmas! Maybe we'll watch them all more than just once each!!?!?!!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Tales/ramblings of a 16th-grade nothing

I was up registering for next semester (I batted like 5 for 6, thank you for home run being the lit & film class I wanted!) and I could've gone to bed like twenty minutes ago, but I had to stay up because that Jonas Brothers song about looking me in the eyes came on my Pandora and I had to listen to the whole thing and then I had to think about it for sixteen minutes.

I am enjoying the cold weather, but it all kind of sucks because I haven't even watched Beetlejuice yet.

In other news, my girl Carly is truly one of my best friends...and she came through for me yet again tonight by giving me a phone call letting me know that RDJ was on "Jay Leno." What would I do without you?

Another one of my best friends, Lizzie, is leaving on her mission really really soon...I'm going to miss the poo out of her, but she's going to do a grrrreat job! Also she will dress extremely fashionably and prove that it is totally possible to do so.

One of us may look slightly under- or overdressed, depending on how one may look at it...but whatever I was at a ward Halloween party.

...and now "Lights" by Journey is on Pandora! I'm SO glad I stayed up!!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Savages savages

I decided to remove this picture from the header of the blog for aesthetic reasons--it was too busy or whatever--so I needed to post it here so no one would forget about it. (Not that any of the involved parties ever will or could ever forget about it.)

I've heard people* say that they initially thought that this picture was just a cutie friendy picture from London--we're all dressed up, we're sitting all close and cozy, I made it all black and white and blurred the edges like a looks like, perhaps, just a cutie friendy picture. Look closer.

Here's a zoomed-in shot of what's happening behind Rebbie and me:

Pigeons freaking SUCK

*I think once one person said this. Or I may have made it up

Friday, October 22, 2010

They just don't make 'em like this anymore

One of my favorite humans is Chevy Chase. I know he is old now, but I dare any of you to watch Fletch or Caddyshack or Vacation or Christmas Vacation (all of which are frequently shown on AMC and, for some reason, VH1) and not have a huge fatty crush on him. Plus he is still freaking hilarious today! I was just catching up on my TV homework, and when he said, "Ah, the '80s...our teen years, right guys?" on "Community," I almost laughed out loud and revealed that maybe I'm not doing anything besides Spanish homework and Hulu-watching.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Just some random crap while I avoid writing my paper

Christmas is kind of coming soon! I can't WAIT

And here's what came up when I was googling "christmas pug puppies":

Look at their tiny paws!!!! What are they looking at? I want to know!!!!

And this was in my inbox today:

According to Urban Outfitters, this is the hot new trend for October.
Do you think this girl feels pretty?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Do you still read these posts if there isn't a picture? Sometimes I don't...

I make a big deal about the playlists I make on my pod, but in all honesty, I usually get sick of them before I get all the way through them. Why? Well, I tend to put all my newest songs on the playlist regardless of the songs' themes, which doesn't do anything constructive for the playlist's emotional continuity...I mean, if I'm in a bummer mood, I will not be happy if all of a sudden I have to deal with Bieber's dulcet, upbeat tones*. Plus those new songs get ruined after like the fifteenth consecutive listen.

Anyway, I made a new playlist like 2 weeks ago, and I haven't stopped listening to it yet. It's a pretty big deal. A few of the highlights are:
  1. "Hold My Heart" by Sara Bareilles...a close married friend of mine said that this song "almost makes her wish she weren't in love." Just so she could listen and relate. But bummer for her, she IS in love, boo freakin hoo.
  2. "Don't Be Shy" by Cat Stevens...well this song motivates me while simultaneously making me pleasantly sleepy. I imagine that gives me a hilarious facial expression.
  3. "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World...what's that you say? This song stopped being cool in 2004? Um, have you LISTENED to the words? It speaks SO TRUE. You all LOVE IT probably.
  4. "Sweet Disposition" by Temper Trap...I know this song is freaking all over the place these days because of that awesome Diet Coke commercial and 500 Days of Summer, but it's probably something to do with the fact that this song is perfect for any season, any human, any emotion.
  5. "Quelqu'un m'a dit" by Carla Bruni...yes, another 500 Days of Summer song, but whatever it's beautiful. Even if I have no idea what the words are if Alex isn't there to translate for me...but I know that they're probably along the lines of, "Don't worry Jordyn, you are not the only idiot who gets C minuses and is addicted to Tostitos queso dip and is probably going to end up alone and has dreams about reuniting with her dog instead of sexy times with boys."
  6. "Shape of my Heart" by the Backstreet Boys...duh
  7. "Your Love" by the Outfield...there is no music today like those lucky B's had in the '70s and '80s and whatever.

So yeah, that's what my walks to class/drives to work/showers sound like right now. There are also other songs. These are just the milestones...or something. Now leave me alone; I have a paper to write.

*Actually it probably wouldn't be THAT horrible.

Monday, October 18, 2010

You think I have grace?!

All I want to do with my life is be exactly like Elaine. EXACTLY LIKE HER
*Edit: I'm sorry this isn't a video clip. I don't know how to do that.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Whole lot of buzzkill

  1. Cutting the neck off of my BYU retro sweatshirt as a freshman. I should've sacrificed a different article of clothing to the '80s party gods instead because now I always have this awkward ratio of under-layer of t-shirt showing.
  2. Buying so much stupid crap within the first few weeks of my London trip and not just waiting until I knew exactly what I wanted.
  3. Watching American History X on TV...I watched the WHOLE thing. No other movie has ever scarred me as badly as that one did.
  4. Taking Bio 100 as a college freshman
  5. Taking Geology 101 as a college freshman
  6. Eating two funnel cakes as a family back in 2003 at a dog show...ugh. That is a regret we all felt/still feel collectively
  7. Taking an approximately five hour nap today instead of finish a ton of homework
  8. Not entirely appreciating A Bug's Life until this afternoon. That crap is hilarious. One line I never noticed before: "The streets will be paved with golden retrievers..."

Anyways, I learned this past Thursday that for my Comms 101 class which I hate, I have to go three consecutive days without using any media. Yes, that includes cell phone, computer (Internet, word processing, iTunes, etc.), radio, newspaper, books (I assume), TV...I literally don't know how I'll be able to do this. Three days?! And I'm not just concerned about you know, facebook, but what about if I have a paper or online homework due? What am I going to do at work? I hate this class.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Someone insult me, quick

...because Michelle is giving me too big of a head.
Our Mondays were way worse than any Monday you've ever had.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

"Greater than" signs are really useful


  1. Good adjectives for describing the weather: chilly, brisk, crisp, cool, nippy...they saved all the best words for the most fleeting time of year.
  2. My fall clothes > my summer clothes. By mid-June, I am so sick of all of my warm weather outfits except for maybe two shirts. It looks like all the pictures taken of me were taken over the course of two days when actually I just alternated two different outfits all summer long. Fall means I can bust out my tights and hide my pasty legs, wear boots and not worry about sweaty calves, wear cardigans and not worry about sweaty pits, straighten my bangs and maybe they will stay straight all day...fall takes a lot of the edge off.
  3. Halloween! No other months give people the opportunity to spend 30 whole days thinking of a costume that will be hilarious and creative and yet immediately identifiable. Plus, as I've said before, Halloween movies are THE BOMB. I love Christmas more than I love Halloween (hence why I feel October is the SECOND best month), but a crappy Halloween movie > a crappy Christmas movie, any day, any time, any movie. Not that I don't go apeshiz for GOOD Christmas movies, but that's drifting away from the month at hand.
  4. School is more about social activities than about assignments right now. Yeah, a midterm or two is out of the way, but I swear it's November when things start getting really sucky. Or maybe I'm finally experiencing a semester with conscientious teachers who don't want to make their students suicidal.
  5. Ward pumpkin stealing activity. Last year there were casualties; I'm not not hoping there are some again this year.
  6. Have you ever tasted cider?
  7. Frightmares at Lagoon
I don't think I need to go any further.

Monday, October 11, 2010

This picture is to Myspace as those tarantulas are to that exploding cactus

best roommates ever
Myspace Glitter Graphics

Okay I mostly copied this from Sassy Curmudgeon, but I can't help it. This crap is hilarious.

PS that cactus/tarantula story is apparently all just a big fake urban legend. Which is very, very disappointing.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Just some haiku at 2 a.m.

Newest playlist is
Mostly full of whiny crap
Nelly's in there too.

How to tactfully
Tell roommate that the kitchen
Is full of her crap...

I've ranked October
Second only to Decem-
-ber as favorite month.

Soon Hocus Pocus,
Beetlejuice and Batman, too,
Will be on TV!

My costume idea
Which technically I did steal
With permission though.

Looking cute is nice
But for Halloween I've learned
Ugly is more fun.

Friday, October 8, 2010


  • "Daria" season: 3

  • page in HP and the O of the P chapter 9, paperback: 163

  • character on "Grey's": little Grey

  • new cd: Sara Bareilles

  • new Taco Bell sauce: verde

  • cardigan: the teal one? or the new gray one

  • day this week: Tuesday

  • dessert at the Cannon Center tonight: some chocolate mousse stuff

  • font this semester: Georgia

  • song on the walk home from school today: "Fix You" had been a while since my ears heard the whole thing and it was epic, just like it was in high school

  • Backstreet Boy song (in no particular order, really): "I Want it That Way," "The One," "Shape of my Heart"

  • Microsoft Office component: OneNote

  • Robert Downey Jr. daydream today: the one where he dons a suit and little glasses and we sit on the couch and read Harry Potter and then discuss it (If that doesn't scream "I'm a virgin," I don't know what does)

  • thing about my face: my skin's finally starting to clear up

  • thing about this week: it's finally over

  • thing about my stupid idiot Comms 101 class: I got through like 3 chapters of HP and the O of the P today
Here are Lizzie and me at Conference last weekend...she's going on her big awesome mission soon, and I'm going to miss her something ferocious.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Hilarious photo, and then I act like Gollum

You guys, House Bunny is a FUNNY MOVIE. Look at their faces!

Every time I look I'm like, "Oh her face is funnier. No wait HER face is funnier." They're both hilarious faces.

This blog is so not cool anymore. This movie came out two years ago. Cool reference, Jordyn! I'm the one writing this blog, and I'M even bored.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

We make the Yule Ball look like dump

I'm jonesing another Harry Potter dress up party something fierce. Luckily Ms. Carly Curtis has a birthday coming up, and I know that she's always up for a cauldron full of hot, strong love. And HP costumes.

Here are some of the best shots of the absolute best thing we did all of Summer 2009:

Imprisoned Bellatrix...simply brilliant. "YOU FILTHY HALFBLOOD"

Merope and Kreacher...seriously how did we come up with this?! Don't answer. I already know it was divine intervention.

This guy brought a REAL STUFFED BADGER as part of his Hufflepuff Heir costume.

We even had awards, like this Salazar Slytherin fork, which Ludo Bagman won.

I mean seriously--look at Hedwig and Colin Creevey. How was this party not featured on the news (Muggle or Daily Prophet, either one)??

Dr. Granger, D.D.S., Kreacher, and a Weird Sister rounded off the evening.
Let's review, shall we?
  • Merope
  • Kreacher
  • Weird Sister
  • Hedwig
  • Colin Creevey
  • Ludo Bagman
  • Hermione's mom
  • Azkaban Bellatrix
  • Hufflepuff with included badger

Well folks, it'll be tough to top last year's costumes, but I know we can all dig even deeper and whip up some ideas that are somehow even more obscure.

My friends are AMAZING

Thursday, September 23, 2010

I hate me

I hate when I remember that something was due...yesterday.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

More words of wisdom while I can't think of anything else to say

"...but time takes time, you know..."
--master of words Ben Folds
(and thanks to good old Large Marge)
A pleasant, charming girl waiting for time and work and stuff to stop being so lame

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Out of the mouths of babes (since nineteen does seem rather young lately)

"You can't be even-tempered forever!"
--younger sister Erin, following an out-of-character loss of temper

Monday, September 13, 2010

I just want to make a difference

So they said I had to post a review of this amazing towel I bought online. And then they said they could put it on my blog. They weren't lying!

A WBSHOP.COM EXCLUSIVE! This super soft 100% cotton Harry Potter beach and bath towel measures approximately 54 inches long by 27 inches wide and features a large and colorful Hogwarts crest centered against a vivid background with the four individual house crests at each corner.

Totally bomb towel

By Jordyn from Provo, UT on 9/13/2010

4out of 5

Pros: Absorbent, Dries Quickly, Soft

Cons: Too Thin

Best Uses: Pool, Beach, Gifts

Describe Yourself: Budget Shopper

-I love it

-Everyone thinks I am awesome when I use it

In other news, I parted my hair on the wrong side and am feeling all discombobulated today.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

"You met him Sunday. It's barely Thursday morning."

Well here's the haircut. I made a huge deal about it like a doofus and then provided no follow-up.
Anyways, here's a list.

  • George Costanza and Susan: For reals though. They hate each other.

  • Romeo and Juliet: Don't you just hate them? That isn't love. "You took a roofie from a priest. Look at your life. Look at your choices." If you have any brains/sense of humor at all, click HERE

  • Mr. Collins and Charlotte Lucas: Misery. Pure, unadulterated misery forever.

  • Dan and Vanessa: Ughhhhh I would rather watch Jenny cry all twenty thousand pounds of mascara off of her cocaine raccoon eyes than ever listen to Dan and Vanessa speak to each other. Yes, I said it.

  • Lupin and Tonks: *SPOILER ALERT* Maybe they're not the worst Harry Potter couple, I'm looking at you, Harry and Ginny, but they clearly did not think this through. Shouldn't Lupin have told Tonks that he was afraid of having completely awesome hybrid werewolf-metamorphagus kids BEFORE they got married? Yeesh.

  • Prince Eric and Human Ursula: You shouldn't just go for the second hot girl you come across because there's a chance that she's a fatty octopus.

  • Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson: This one still hurts.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Miley always gets involved in my hair decisions

My hair is getting out of control. It is getting so long, which I realize was my ultimate goal, but I forgot how quickly I get bored. So I'm going to cut it.

But look how great Miley's wig looks! So edgy...
"Y'all, I'll be darned if I cain't just be a reg'ler gurl and git back tuh my Tennessee roots"
Homegirl is a stupid slut, but she's got great hair. Or at least great wigs and extensions.

And remember how excited I was about Hair Test? How determined I was to persevere in my seemingly impossible quest for long hair??
Today one of my beloved co-workers said, "Yeah but when your hair gets that long you can't even do anything with it." I said, "Except look like a beautiful mermaid." I'm 99% sure they think I'm mentally disabled.

But seriously look at this mess. One word comes to mind--scraggly. Also, do you like my work bathroom? It's very small.

So yeah...I'm going to have to learn how to braid hair just so I can fully enjoy long hair for another week.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Sweet Relief

EVENTS THAT RESULT IN ME HEAVING A MASSIVE SIGH OF RELIEF (or at least ones that have been on my mind today)
  1. Smelling stinky feet, paranoid that the fumes are coming from my own feet, but physically sniffing my own feet and discovering that the smell is coming from neighboring feet.
  2. Finding my wallet after destroying my entire bedroom/living room/purse/backpack/scooter trunk in a rabid search for the wallet, which obviously contains no money--just old movie ticket stubs, my Tube pass from London, and my drivers license. Oh and my Seven Peaks season pass that says my name is "Jordan Kennedy."
  3. Discovering that a paper is due in two more days instead of in one more day.
  4. Realizing that my apartment isn't haunted (one time this past Winter semester, for approximately 30 seconds at 2-ish in the morning, I really thought the apartment was haunted and that the devil himself was there to collect me to burn in Hell forever. Luckily it was just Tabby coming back from the bathroom. The whole story is actually a really good one, and maybe I will tell it here someday.)
  5. Waking up in a freak-out, thinking it's 10 A.M. and I've missed work/test/class*, when I see that I actually have plenty of time to get ready.
  6. Thinking that you just saw someone crazy from high school and are now doomed to have a super awkward conversation, but then realizing that it wasn't him. Or her.

*Ha! Whenever I legitimately sleep in and miss class (provided that it's just a regular class day, not a test or something), I feel FABULOUS. I don't feel guilty at all. It's like my body told me to take a Non-Contact Day, like we used to have in elementary through high school.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Everyone's thinking it; I'm just saying it

There are many things I should feel guilty about. Being attracted to cartoon characters is not one of those things.


Prince Phillip
Phillip is awesome. He sings like an angel--and I mean like the angel cast as Marius in Heaven's production of Les Mis. He is very well coiffed. He loves his horse. He makes Maleficent his B-word. HOT

Bad name, bad'd think that he would be a total fug, but you would be WRONG because Phoebus is a total stud. He saves that family from burnination, he possesses the dulcet tones of Kevin Kline, he also loves his horse, and he snags himself the sluttiest of all the Disney women. HOT

Prince Eric
Who doesn't love a possibly-European man with an American accent and hair darker than Tom Riddle's divided soul and eyes bluer than the Heart of the Ocean diamond...? Plus look at those dimples. And those teeth that are actually one solid tooth. HOT

Tom from "Daria"
Oh Tom...he's snarky, rich, in denial about aforementioned wealth, dresses to the nines in a navy blue sweater and khaki cargo pants, has a strong jaw, rocks a TBHC, and for some reason chooses to date Daria. Daria is obviously the bomb, but she'd be the buzzkilliest girlfriend of all time. Oh and Tom's got a hot voice. I hope I never see what his voice actor looks like because TV voices are always 100% disappointing. HOT

Moses from Prince of Egypt
Scoff all you want--Moses has it going on. That chariot race at the beginning of the movie is so cool and bad-a, and he looks cool in whatever he wears, be it golden chest necklace/sweet Egypt Royalty wig or robe. HOT

Robin Hood, the Disney version
Hey, we're all mammals, and the second they can stand upright and speak English, even the woodland creatures are fair game to crush on. Robin Hood is so cool--he loves kids, loves Maid Marian, gives her the prettiest engagement ring known to man/animal, loves his best friend, and he is lethal with a bow and arrow. HOT

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

One for the Ages

My hair looked better this day than it does right now, but none of you can see its current crappy state, so haha!

Today the shuffle on my iPod, name of Tom Riddle, has been outstanding. I was pleased by every single song until the mid twenties.
  1. "Walk Like an Egyptian"--the Bangles
  2. "Never Let You Go"--Third Eye Blind
  3. Beach Boys
  4. "Pinch Me"-BNLs
  5. "Jesus Walks"--Kanye
  6. "Drunk Girl"--Something Corporate
  7. Lily Allen
  8. "Talk"--Coldplay
  9. "No Sleep Till Brooklyn"--Beastie Boys (I audibly gasped when this one came on)
  10. "Hey Driver"--Lucky Boys Confusion
  11. "With a Little Help From my Friends"--Beatles
  12. one of those sweet DJ Earworm mashups
  13. "Oh Darling" from Across the Universe
  14. BIEBER
  15. Phantom Planet
  16. "Think Twice"--Eve 6
  17. "My World"--Avril
  18. "Gunpowder and Lead"--Miranda Lambert (pretty much the most hard-a song ever sung by a woman in the last five years. I love Carrie, but this makes "Before He Cheats" sound like Kumbaya)
  19. "Wasted and Ready"--Ben Kweller
  20. "Everyone Nose"--N.E.R.D.
  21. Sappy love song at end of Win a Date with Tad Hamilton
  22. Sappy love song from excellent Noggin show, "Instant Star"
This is where it started getting lame or Christmas-y. But can you appreciate the amazingness of this list?! 22 songs, no skipping!!! One for the ages!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What my brain sounds like

Summer jams are a crucial part of the season. This has been on my mind for a while now, and I'm not just saying that because I want to be exactly like the Sassy Curmudgeon. These are the songs that I can listen to all summer long--whether I'm sitting at work, staring at Excel spreadsheets for literally six hours out of my eight hour work day and jamming out privately with my headphones; riding shotgun in Alex's bug, gearing up for hella good times in Salt Lake with our long lost London lovers; or busting out my dance moves in my bedroom while I'm deciding what to wear--the dance moves I only allow my reflection to see because the public is just not ready.

  • "I'm Your Daddy" by Weezer--This is on Weezer's Raditude CD, which got almost no attention aside from Carly and me, and that is a crying shame because it is a rrrrrockin CD. I love this song very very very much. I love that Weezer is always talking about how much cooler certain girls are than other girls. Sometimes certain girls ARE cooler than other girls, and more songs should be written about how cool girls are rather than how hot they are. Right? RIGHT??!?!
  • "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys--An amazing song made even more amazing by the fact that I now know the Boys personally. Ish.
  • "The One" by the Backstreet Boys--Another legitimately awesome song.
  • "Carry Out" by Timbaland and Justin Timberlake--I listen to this song at all times, seriously: work (I am in a constant state of dance party at my desk because I have to listen to this song a minimum of three consecutive times everyday), the shower, my room, I sing it aloud while driving around on my scooter...I love it.
  • "Your Love" by the Outfield--A late addition to my Veni Vidi Vici playlist. This song is SO GOOD and EPIC and BEAUTIFUL and makes my arms raise themselves above my head and my hands form themselves into fists. All on their own accord!
  • "Take Me Home Tonight" by Eddie Money--Another sweet power ballad/rock arena ear candy. Love this crap.
  • "The Blues are Still Blue" by Belle & Sebastian--Studies show that no one can listen to this song without smiling and/or tapping their toes.
  • "It's Your Thing" by the Jackson 5--This song rules. In other news, the Jackson 5 was...were? excellent band.
...and I've still got August to come up with even more gut-wrenching hits!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Kickball is to me as karaoke is to Cameron Diaz in "My Best Friend's Wedding"

There are times when I am a very impressive person. These are the situations where I am not this way.

(keep in mind that these are activities I enjoy--I just tend to look like a moron while doing them.)
  1. Hiking. Sweaty, I don't have any cute hiking clothes, out of breath, bad hair, tired, hungry...there are a lot of reasons for low self esteem here.
  2. Movie theaters. I love love love going to movies. I love it. BUT--if I am sitting next to a guy, I feel obligated to make some sort of snarky comment to him, so I'll spend the entire time thinking of something hilarious to say about the scene. However, the opportune time to say the comment when I finally think of it always passes, but of course I'll say it anyway. And THEN he can't hear it because I had to whisper and it's all just a huge waste.
  3. Kickball. It is so hard to catch and throw kickballs. Everytime I play this game it's an internal struggle between which role I'm going to assume: A.) Useless Girl who will stand just far away from the infield to not be needed for any plays, but just close enough to shortstop to not be responsible for any fly balls and who "bunts" every time she's up to bat, or B.) Athletic Girl who lays out for every play and ruins her clothes even though she didn't change first and gets all sweaty and high fives everyone. It's probably no surprise to anyone that I'm typically Kickball Girl A, except that, like Kickball Girl B, I get sweaty and give high fives.
  4. Tumbling gym. I can do one trick: an imperfect front flip. And this still results in me being mocked, so when I'm at the tumbling gym, I mostly jump on the trampolines and hope someone will come talk to me. Also, the foam pit looks fun, and it is, until you are straining for air and thinking that you will die in there because you will never be able to get out.
  5. Swimming. It's not so much the swimming itself, but my post-swimming appearance is just ridiculous. Wet dog hair, drippy mascara eyes, zits revealed, middle part, bad bangs...nasty.
So if you want to look waaaaaay cooler than me, plan a party where we do one or all of these activities!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

"Yer talkin jibberish"

Every family has their movies--movies that kids would request every single summer morning, movies that we had both in VHS and DVD, movies that baby-sitters had to be told about in order to create a pleasant work environment. Here are ours:

  1. That Thing You Do-I am never prouder of my younger siblings than when they say things to me like, "Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters."
  2. Toy Story-Austin's right: it is thanks to him that Toy Story was a huge part of our family bonding back in the summer of 1996. "The word I'm searching for, I can't say because there are preschool toys around."
  3. Little Big League-a completely underrated '90s movie! They don't make hilarious, heartwarming sports movies like they used to. "It's the American League! They've got the DH, how hard could it be?!"
  4. Sandlot-obviously. If this didn't play a major role in your adolescence, I pity you. "Be there, buffalo butt breath!"
  5. Rookie of the Year-definitely not as spectacular of a film as Sandlot or LBL, but I just love everything baseball-centric. "Did he say 'funky buttloving'?"
  6. Little Giants-this movie is amazing. I learned so much from this, like the word "pissed". Also I learned what a cute boy looks like. "Is Spike mistaken? Aren't you...a girl?"Oh Junior Floyd...this totally explains my Nick Carter complex.
7. Christmas Story-I don't know if it's fair to count Christmas movies, but if it is, then this is OBVIOUSLY a vital piece in our collection. "Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense."

8. I'm going to go ahead and add The Santa Clause to this list. Tim Allen is HILARIOUS!! "Well, Neil's head comes to a point."

New life goal: I need to own all of these.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

An accurate depiction of my childhood

Okay, this blog That is Priceless is without a doubt the funniest one I've ever encountered, and this is a pretty high compliment because I am a.) very creepy and have stalked quite a few blogs, creating a wide pool of funny blogs for me to choose from and b.) picky about jokes.

One of my favorite posts ever from it is The Bedwetter's Shame, which obviously hits pretty close to home.

In other news, my shuffle is ROCKING today at work. So far I've had the pleasure of hearing Zeppelin, They Might Be Giants, David Archuleta, and "Glee," and it's only 10:00!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Horcrux Update

I've always tried to be trendy. (This is inspiring me to post evidence of my attempts to follow such fabulous trends as middle part, wispy bangs, shirts with rhinestones and/or adjectives, etc. I've got horrible/spectacular photos.)

Anyway, I've got some of those newfangled Toms, and I love them because they make me feel like I'm cheating the system and getting away with wearing socks to work. I love them so much that yes, I think I would turn them into a horcrux.

For those of us keeping count, and by "us" I'm well aware that I mean me, that brings the list to
  1. new red Toms
  2. my necklace with English sand inside
  3. Pudge
  4. my gigantic collection of journals (I mean duh, right? Now I'm exactly like Tom Riddle. BUT if my journals could project a hologram of me at the time of my angst-ridden scrawlings, it would be way scarier than You-Know-Who.)
Princess Leia + Tom Riddle - sex appeal = 15-year-old Jordyn

Only four? I have got to get my hands on some heirlooms. I don't think my descendants are going to want a pair of shoes that probably won't even be as cool in ten years, let alone fifty years. And I probably definitely won't let any of them read my journals.

Friday, July 9, 2010

All of our time spent keeps them alive

So I know it sounds pretty lame to complain about the difficulties of an activity that I can do not only sitting down but also technically with my eyes closed, but blogging in the summertime is hard. Plus I have a full time job where I stare at a computer for like 6 hours a day--literally. The math has been done.

But anyway, here are some pictures of events this summer.

Oh--except for this one. This is just a little reminder of what was the pinnacle of sexy back in The Day.

The reason no one ever favored Howie was his obvious inability to brood.

Not the clearest picture, but look at that pose!! BACKSTREET'S BACK ALRIGHT
(Except for Kevin)

Every single song was an emotional connection with my ten-year-old self. It was amazing.
Check out Nick's bedroom eyes! Dang
And now some cousin fun for the Fourth of July. So adorable