Monday, March 29, 2010

The Age of Aquarius

This weekend, as everyone who knows anyone in Provo with a blog/Facebook profile, was the Krishna Festival of Colors. I know almost nothing about the religious (or pagan) aspects of the festival...all I know is that it provides an opportunity for a bunch of BYU zoobs to go and mingle with hippies and feel hardcore and alternative and look crazy. And I really do love looking crazy (see exhibits A, B, C, and D), so I'm happy to chill with all the zoobies* and get my freak on.

Here we are early on before the real action started up. We still look pretty fierce--especially my hair, which celebrated by getting frizzier and frizzier every second.

Here we are, mid-festival...we've got our war (or peace) paint on, and we really have no idea what is to come. The communal throwing of the colors is waaaay intense.

Possibly one of the greatest, most epic photos known to man.

We're reminiscent of heffalumps and woozles, or maybe those elephants that Dumbo and his mouse friend see when they're drunk.

This is seriously what it looks like in the middle of the Big Throw (this is almost definitely the Krishna term for it); it tastes like incense-sawdust and fees as though one has dived into a pile of that sawdust with his or her eyes wide open. Totally worth it though.

Thrice have I shampooed my hair, and the pink remnants of Krishna dust are still hanging on for dear life. It makes me look/feel like Lizzie McGuire:

*Urban defines "zoobie" as:

"A term used in Utah, mainly Utah Valley, to describe the excited bunch of mormons that go to BYU and engage in excessive social activities. It's very common usage here.
[and to use it in a sentence...]

I was awoken late at night with chanting by who could only be the Zoobies, exclaiming in chorus that they were to, 'Paint the Y! Let's Paint the Y!'"

My Life is Exciting-ish

I'm currently in the middle of writing version deux of the story I wrote in high school about a boy with a unibrow who falls in love with a girl with a gap in her teeth, but I'm finding it very hard to concentrate because a lot of exciting things are happening this week:
  1. My FAMILY is coming on Tuesday!!
  2. Sherlock Holmes is coming [out on DVD] on Tuesday!
  3. I got paid this weekend and can finally afford to go grocery shopping!
  4. March is ending! What a crappy month this has been! (except for the Krishna Festival of Colors, about which I will blog tomorrow at work)
Woo freakin hoo!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Why Everyone Should Watch "Community"

1. Tonight's episode centered around the word "buzzkill."

2. Let's review the cast, shall we?
  • Joel McHale: surprisingly hot
  • Don Glover: hot, but not a surprise
  • Chevy Chase: Fletch has never been more insane.
  • Danny Pudi: completely crazy and hilarious...tonight when he was doing "African American police chief," I laughed so hard (alone, of course)
  • Alison Brie: too old to be playing an 18-year-old, but I forgive her because I always love an anal-retentive girl character.
  • Gillian Jacobs: it took me a while to warm to her, but I take it back. She's cool.
  • Yvette Nicole Brown: she's one of those faces you've seen all over the place, like on "The Office" ("I don't like him, his giant head, or his buggy little eyes"), and she is SO funny on "Community."
3. Why has no one ever thought to set a TV show in a community college before now?

4. A quote from tonight's episode: "Me and Jeff made it [referring to a wand with a cookie on the end] because it made you [Chevy] look more like the Cookie Crisp wizard, which is not even a reference I get because the Cookie Crisp mascot wasn't a wizard when I was a kid, it was a burglar." It just spoke to me, somehow.

This is a GOOD SHOW. It will definitely keep holding my attention while I wait for "Glee" to return.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I'm obsessed like Ali Larter

Beautiful people

Sherlock is at the dollar theater, I took my total viewings to a nice round five this weekend. In case you were wondering, it's still awesome.

In other news, this weekend was beautiful--happy spring! I hope it never snows ever again!

Also: sorry about this post title. It's just that I'm really weird.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Hey James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road

Aww, Moviefone listed my man Paul as their number one on their Funniest People Working in Hollywood (Right Now) list!

Them's good people. They ranked him above even Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Zach Galifianakis, and Amy Poehler!


Because this one was interesting

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And if it's good enough for Alison, it must be something special.

Are you happy with your given name?
Yes! I wasn't always...I remember crying to my mom that I hated my name. What a brat! Now I love it.
What is your guaranteed weeping movie? Remember the Titans, every time. "Can't you see the family resemblance? He's my brother." = weeping.
What is the one thing you like to do alone? Sing all of Journey's greatest hits back to back.
What’s a major fear or yours? Dinosaurs. Not kidding. Have you ever really thought about dinosaurs? Giant, scaly monsters as big as a building able to just bend down and rip you up with their teeth.
Do you know anyone famous? Alison's AMAZING answer: "well jordyn and alex's byu blog has over 40 followers! and i'm pretty good friends with them." Mmhmm.
Describe your bed. Held up by cinder blocks, this bed is a wobbly mess just waiting to tip over. Again.
What type of character would you play in a movie? I would be the girl in Now and Then whose mom (Bonnie Hunt, love her) explains sex to her using flower pot analogies and grows up to be Rita Wilson.
What do you carry with you at all times? Cell phone, Iron Man notebook, ponytail holder, virginity
How do you eat an apple? I just bite in because for some inexplicable reason I don't trust apple slices.
Do you prefer to stand out or blend in? Stand out, but not for my usual reasons like "that girl has her skirt tucked into her tights...again" or "that's the girl who wet the bed at my sleepover."
What kind of first impression do you think you give people? In my face's Rest Position, my mouth is naturally down-turning, sooo I think I look unpleasant. But it's not my fault. Then I talk and say bonehead things, so I'm probably seen as an unpleasant bonehead.
What is your hidden talent? Kevin Bacon-connecting skills. Also I have a sixth sense: I can tell before it happens whether or not my farts will stink. Seriously. It has come in handy many times.
Do you own a Bible? Yes, and it's ADORABLE
What is the last gift you gave someone? I sent my little brother this AMAZING birthday card last month. It involved glitter and his astrological sign.
What is your biggest headache lately? John Donne, that metaphysical minx
What was your first job? The Denver Post, stuffing comics and ads into the Sunday paper every Saturday morning. Like an illegal immigrant. And WITH the illegal immigrants.
Favorite word lately? I'm obsessed with the phrase "bedroom eyes" lately.
You have a crush, don’t you? It's possible.
What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moments? Picking my split ends
Name ONE trait you hate in a person. Bad attitude. I can't think of any real details, but I know a bad attitude when I see it.
Favorite writing utensil? My roommate gave me this pen with a tiny lamp on it so I can write in my journal even after she's gone to sleep. It is AWESOME
What’s one thing you’re a loser at? Ice skating, acting, leaving voice mails
Where’s your ideal marriage location? Denver, then straight to DISNEYWORLD
What do you cook the best? Seven layer bean dip. Oh, that's not technically cooking? Then nothing.
What kind of books do you like to read? Preferably young adult fiction.
If you win the lottery, what would you like to do? DISNEYWORLD and then straight to London. And a season pass to Lagoon.
How long have you known your best friend? Depends on which one...some of them 12 years, some of them 3
What are you listening to? Literally cannot stop listening to "Sister Christian"
What was the last thing you laughed at? Alexandra falling TWICE on the runway on "Top Model"!! Hahaha!!!
What musical instrument do you wish you could play? If I could play more than a handful of chords on guitar, my life could be perfect.
If you could speak any language, which language would you speak? Esperanto.

And now you know certain embarrassing things about me, like I'm legitimately scared of dinosaurs, I was a major bedwetter, and I have a sixth sense about farts.

And here's a hilarious picture I saw online last week.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Winter Semester Survival Soundtrack

This semester has been rather brutal. College is hard, and my split ends have never been worse. However--I have created one of my all-time best playlists. It's called Veni Vidi Vici. You, too, will find yourself filled with [temporary] motivation and feel like you can conquer the world armed with only a can of hairspray and red leather pants.

"sister christian" --night ranger [this song is slowly changing my life.]
"rock you like a hurricane"--scorpions
"i would do anything for love (but i won't do that)" --meat loaf
"blaze of glory" --bon jovi
"your love is driving me crazy" --sammy hagar
"i can't hold back"--survivor
"china grove" --doobie bros.
"take it on the run"--reo speedwagon
"hungry eyes"--jefferson starship
"panama"--van halen

...and many, many more. Listening to these makes me feel this:

[FYI I feel hardcore in this picture. Maybe not so much hardcore as flippant. Even though I think my actual emotion is "surprise". Or "anger that the Circus Animal cookies are all gone".]

plus this:
So basically hardcore bliss.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Toilet Idol

So this season of "American Idol" is the absolute worst so far. Especially compared to the gloriousness of last season. I'm racking my brains to remember who is good this's really difficult because no one is memorable OR good. I do like Katelyn with the curly hair (but she sucked this week) and that mom with the dreadlocks and the teeth like baked beans (to quote the ever-wise George Costanza)...and that little Alex Lambert who looks exactly like Hannah Montana's brother is actually good. Too bad he shares his last name with the most inventive and exciting contestant "Idol" has ever seen.

The only thing I have to look forward to besides Simon's spot-on analyses and Ryan's sharp suits is Tim Urban. And his cheekbones. And biceps. (Hopefully they'll add a swimsuit portion to the contest this season...and forget to tell Big Mike.)

And you know what, haters, back off, because last night he sang "Hallelujah" and actually did a really good job!

UPDATE 11:57 pm:

This season really is going to SUCK. Four of the best people--not all my favorites, but admittedly good ones out of this year's suckfest--got booted tonight. Little Alex and Katelyn?!

Come on!!!

Late and Thus Probably Irrelevant Oscar Recap

The Oscars were a huuuge deal at my apartment this Sunday. We got take-and-bakes from Papa Murphey's, I shelled out $2.34 for generic soda, and we printed out ballots from the Oscar website. Unfortunately, I was convinced Avatar would sweep, so I put a stupid checkmark next to it almost every time I saw it so I could win the candy bar we had promised the winner. Whatever.


Ben Stiller was so funny to me. His deadpan was hilarious, and it was made even funnier by the fact that Avatar didn't win ANYTHING

This isn't the clip they showed in the John Hughes tribute, but they showed RDJ's starring* role in Weird Science! Also I love Tina Fey, but I had a conniption of jealousy when they held hands up to the podium.

*You see, this joke works because he's actually only in it for like three scenes. One of his lines is, "Girls schmirls!"


So my favorite dresses were worn by my three least favorite people.

I thought SJP's dress was supafly! Except I saw a side view of it and it was kind of frump, but from the front I loved it! ...except for that ribbon on her collarbone. She looks like that lady in that scary story book I had as a kid who kept her head tied on with a ribbon. Also: her hair was HILARIOUS!! Look at those frizzies. I feel your pain girl. But I'm not the one on the red carpet--get some Frizz-Ease.

Elizabeth Banks is very, very annoying to me, but I thought her dress was pretty, although it looked better onstage than in this picture.

Kristen Stewart is a person who I hate more than almost any other human...that said, her dress was bangin and totally Oscar-appropriate. I award her with a halfhearted thumbs up.

Here's my ballot. 11/24. My bad...

Monday, March 8, 2010

Okay, he is kind of a Baldwin...

Ok so my Oscar votes? Pretty humiliating. Even my sell-out, big ticket predictions flopped. I watched Little Giants earlier today; it made me faithful in the underdog and probably made me overly confident that movies I loved actually stood a chance. Details to come when I'm not so embarrassed.

Before my hopes were obliterated, I spent yet another evening in those overalls I bought at D.I. $6 well spent! This time the theme was '90s. While it's disconcerting that a decade I actually remember is now eligible for costume dance parties, the '90s really are my favorite era, so I was totally buggin. In a good way.

-Clueless, sad was it to see Brittney Murphey in the tribute tonight?? She'll always be Tai to me
-Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet
-Reality Bites
-Little Giants

Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?

You have no idea how much I was kvelling when I ran into Madison! You go girl!

Not a total Betty, but a vast improvement

Whatever. I'm outie.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

You're only a daaaaay aaaawaaaaaaay

Okay these are who would have my vote if I were in the Academy, NOT necessarily who will win. Wouldn't you rather know my actual opinion than have me say Avatar and James Cameron are going to take home the gold? Hmmm??

BEST PICTURE: Inglourious Basterds
BEST ACTOR: Jeff Bridges
BEST ACTRESS: Meryl Streep
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Whatever. Mo'Nique is going to win, and I don't have any strong opinions for this.
BEST DIRECTOR: Quentin Tarantino
BEST ANIMATED FILM: Up...but I love Fantastic Mr. Fox too. I hope Jason Schwartzman will be there tomorrow.

For the other categories, just know that if Tarantino is nominated, I'm rooting for him. Ditto for Sherlock Holmes.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Tao of Laffy Taffy

from a Laffy Taffy wrapper:

Q: What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?

A: Reality.

So true, Benjie M. from Charlotte, true.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

...and that makes you larger than life

Okay, so I got really into my middle school costume. I was told by more than five people that I looked ten years younger/legitimately like a middle schooler/exactly the way I was in 7th grade/other variations of this concept. This makes me feel very proud of my costume-making abilities while also worrying me that I have not changed at all since 2002. A lot of the blame must lie with my retainer though--nothing makes a girl feel young like orthodontia.

We all hit it out of the park with this one, seriously. This is especially middle school-esque because the only boys to be found in this photo are in the shadows behind us, apparently looking for snacks.

You know I'm a real all-star when I can bust a move even while wearing overalls and an unhealthy amount of glitter.

PS: pictures stolen from Alison's facebook...thanks bud