Tuesday, July 27, 2010

One for the Ages

My hair looked better this day than it does right now, but none of you can see its current crappy state, so haha!

Today the shuffle on my iPod, name of Tom Riddle, has been outstanding. I was pleased by every single song until the mid twenties.
  1. "Walk Like an Egyptian"--the Bangles
  2. "Never Let You Go"--Third Eye Blind
  3. Beach Boys
  4. "Pinch Me"-BNLs
  5. "Jesus Walks"--Kanye
  6. "Drunk Girl"--Something Corporate
  7. Lily Allen
  8. "Talk"--Coldplay
  9. "No Sleep Till Brooklyn"--Beastie Boys (I audibly gasped when this one came on)
  10. "Hey Driver"--Lucky Boys Confusion
  11. "With a Little Help From my Friends"--Beatles
  12. one of those sweet DJ Earworm mashups
  13. "Oh Darling" from Across the Universe
  14. BIEBER
  15. Phantom Planet
  16. "Think Twice"--Eve 6
  17. "My World"--Avril
  18. "Gunpowder and Lead"--Miranda Lambert (pretty much the most hard-a song ever sung by a woman in the last five years. I love Carrie, but this makes "Before He Cheats" sound like Kumbaya)
  19. "Wasted and Ready"--Ben Kweller
  20. "Everyone Nose"--N.E.R.D.
  21. Sappy love song at end of Win a Date with Tad Hamilton
  22. Sappy love song from excellent Noggin show, "Instant Star"
This is where it started getting lame or Christmas-y. But can you appreciate the amazingness of this list?! 22 songs, no skipping!!! One for the ages!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What my brain sounds like

Summer jams are a crucial part of the season. This has been on my mind for a while now, and I'm not just saying that because I want to be exactly like the Sassy Curmudgeon. These are the songs that I can listen to all summer long--whether I'm sitting at work, staring at Excel spreadsheets for literally six hours out of my eight hour work day and jamming out privately with my headphones; riding shotgun in Alex's bug, gearing up for hella good times in Salt Lake with our long lost London lovers; or busting out my dance moves in my bedroom while I'm deciding what to wear--the dance moves I only allow my reflection to see because the public is just not ready.

SWEET, SUCCULENT SUMMER JAMS WHICH WILL MELT YOUR FACE AND POTENTIALLY YOUR HEART, IN A GOOD WAY
  • "I'm Your Daddy" by Weezer--This is on Weezer's Raditude CD, which got almost no attention aside from Carly and me, and that is a crying shame because it is a rrrrrockin CD. I love this song very very very much. I love that Weezer is always talking about how much cooler certain girls are than other girls. Sometimes certain girls ARE cooler than other girls, and more songs should be written about how cool girls are rather than how hot they are. Right? RIGHT??!?!
  • "I Want it That Way" by the Backstreet Boys--An amazing song made even more amazing by the fact that I now know the Boys personally. Ish.
  • "The One" by the Backstreet Boys--Another legitimately awesome song.
  • "Carry Out" by Timbaland and Justin Timberlake--I listen to this song at all times, seriously: work (I am in a constant state of dance party at my desk because I have to listen to this song a minimum of three consecutive times everyday), the shower, my room, I sing it aloud while driving around on my scooter...I love it.
  • "Your Love" by the Outfield--A late addition to my Veni Vidi Vici playlist. This song is SO GOOD and EPIC and BEAUTIFUL and makes my arms raise themselves above my head and my hands form themselves into fists. All on their own accord!
  • "Take Me Home Tonight" by Eddie Money--Another sweet power ballad/rock arena ear candy. Love this crap.
  • "The Blues are Still Blue" by Belle & Sebastian--Studies show that no one can listen to this song without smiling and/or tapping their toes.
  • "It's Your Thing" by the Jackson 5--This song rules. In other news, the Jackson 5 was...were?...an excellent band.
...and I've still got August to come up with even more gut-wrenching hits!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Kickball is to me as karaoke is to Cameron Diaz in "My Best Friend's Wedding"

There are times when I am a very impressive person. These are the situations where I am not this way.

SITUATIONS IN WHICH I JUST HAVE TO PRAY THAT MY PERSONALITY MAKES UP FOR MY LACKLUSTER APPEARANCE AND/OR ATHLETIC ABILITY
(keep in mind that these are activities I enjoy--I just tend to look like a moron while doing them.)
  1. Hiking. Sweaty, I don't have any cute hiking clothes, out of breath, bad hair, tired, hungry...there are a lot of reasons for low self esteem here.
  2. Movie theaters. I love love love going to movies. I love it. BUT--if I am sitting next to a guy, I feel obligated to make some sort of snarky comment to him, so I'll spend the entire time thinking of something hilarious to say about the scene. However, the opportune time to say the comment when I finally think of it always passes, but of course I'll say it anyway. And THEN he can't hear it because I had to whisper and it's all just a huge waste.
  3. Kickball. It is so hard to catch and throw kickballs. Everytime I play this game it's an internal struggle between which role I'm going to assume: A.) Useless Girl who will stand just far away from the infield to not be needed for any plays, but just close enough to shortstop to not be responsible for any fly balls and who "bunts" every time she's up to bat, or B.) Athletic Girl who lays out for every play and ruins her clothes even though she didn't change first and gets all sweaty and high fives everyone. It's probably no surprise to anyone that I'm typically Kickball Girl A, except that, like Kickball Girl B, I get sweaty and give high fives.
  4. Tumbling gym. I can do one trick: an imperfect front flip. And this still results in me being mocked, so when I'm at the tumbling gym, I mostly jump on the trampolines and hope someone will come talk to me. Also, the foam pit looks fun, and it is, until you are straining for air and thinking that you will die in there because you will never be able to get out.
  5. Swimming. It's not so much the swimming itself, but my post-swimming appearance is just ridiculous. Wet dog hair, drippy mascara eyes, zits revealed, middle part, bad bangs...nasty.
So if you want to look waaaaaay cooler than me, plan a party where we do one or all of these activities!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

"Yer talkin jibberish"

Every family has their movies--movies that kids would request every single summer morning, movies that we had both in VHS and DVD, movies that baby-sitters had to be told about in order to create a pleasant work environment. Here are ours:

CANADY FAMILY MOVIES
  1. That Thing You Do-I am never prouder of my younger siblings than when they say things to me like, "Cap'n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters."
  2. Toy Story-Austin's right: it is thanks to him that Toy Story was a huge part of our family bonding back in the summer of 1996. "The word I'm searching for, I can't say because there are preschool toys around."
  3. Little Big League-a completely underrated '90s movie! They don't make hilarious, heartwarming sports movies like they used to. "It's the American League! They've got the DH, how hard could it be?!"
  4. Sandlot-obviously. If this didn't play a major role in your adolescence, I pity you. "Be there, buffalo butt breath!"
  5. Rookie of the Year-definitely not as spectacular of a film as Sandlot or LBL, but I just love everything baseball-centric. "Did he say 'funky buttloving'?"
  6. Little Giants-this movie is amazing. I learned so much from this, like the word "pissed". Also I learned what a cute boy looks like. "Is Spike mistaken? Aren't you...a girl?"Oh Junior Floyd...this totally explains my Nick Carter complex.
7. Christmas Story-I don't know if it's fair to count Christmas movies, but if it is, then this is OBVIOUSLY a vital piece in our collection. "Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense."

8. I'm going to go ahead and add The Santa Clause to this list. Tim Allen is HILARIOUS!! "Well, Neil's head comes to a point."

New life goal: I need to own all of these.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

An accurate depiction of my childhood

Okay, this blog That is Priceless is without a doubt the funniest one I've ever encountered, and this is a pretty high compliment because I am a.) very creepy and have stalked quite a few blogs, creating a wide pool of funny blogs for me to choose from and b.) picky about jokes.

One of my favorite posts ever from it is The Bedwetter's Shame, which obviously hits pretty close to home.

In other news, my shuffle is ROCKING today at work. So far I've had the pleasure of hearing Zeppelin, They Might Be Giants, David Archuleta, and "Glee," and it's only 10:00!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Horcrux Update

I've always tried to be trendy. (This is inspiring me to post evidence of my attempts to follow such fabulous trends as middle part, wispy bangs, shirts with rhinestones and/or adjectives, etc. I've got horrible/spectacular photos.)

Anyway, I've got some of those newfangled Toms, and I love them because they make me feel like I'm cheating the system and getting away with wearing socks to work. I love them so much that yes, I think I would turn them into a horcrux.


For those of us keeping count, and by "us" I'm well aware that I mean me, that brings the list to
  1. new red Toms
  2. my necklace with English sand inside
  3. Pudge
  4. my gigantic collection of journals (I mean duh, right? Now I'm exactly like Tom Riddle. BUT if my journals could project a hologram of me at the time of my angst-ridden scrawlings, it would be way scarier than You-Know-Who.)
Princess Leia + Tom Riddle - sex appeal = 15-year-old Jordyn

Only four? I have got to get my hands on some heirlooms. I don't think my descendants are going to want a pair of shoes that probably won't even be as cool in ten years, let alone fifty years. And I probably definitely won't let any of them read my journals.

Friday, July 9, 2010

All of our time spent keeps them alive

So I know it sounds pretty lame to complain about the difficulties of an activity that I can do not only sitting down but also technically with my eyes closed, but blogging in the summertime is hard. Plus I have a full time job where I stare at a computer for like 6 hours a day--literally. The math has been done.

But anyway, here are some pictures of events this summer.

Oh--except for this one. This is just a little reminder of what was the pinnacle of sexy back in The Day.


The reason no one ever favored Howie was his obvious inability to brood.

Not the clearest picture, but look at that pose!! BACKSTREET'S BACK ALRIGHT
(Except for Kevin)

Every single song was an emotional connection with my ten-year-old self. It was amazing.
Check out Nick's bedroom eyes! Dang
And now some cousin fun for the Fourth of July. So adorable