Thursday, December 22, 2011

"Max, help me! I'm...feeling!"

CHRISTMAS BREAK! I love it. I love it the most. I've been home for five days, and I've taken only two showers. I have napped, I have Netflix'd, I have e-interacted with hot celebrities, I have read for pleasure, I have been surrounded constantly by family and best friends. It's the best.

And now my siblings and I are watching Christmas movies in our PJ's, wearing some new slippers, while there is quite literally a winter wonderland forming outside, and I'm asking that seasonal question: how does Taylor Momsen go from

this

to this?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

If there is no point to a post, does it even deserve a title?

I should not be procrastinating this much. Seriously. I have the lightest finals load I have ever had, and yet here I am at 1 a.m., searching Google for childhood pictures of Adam Lambert.

I KNEW he was a redhead! I love being right. I love it more than sleep. Clearly.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Nobody likes you when you're 23*

Well, I am officially 23! And Britney is officially 30, flirty, and thriving. Love her.

It's already been a great birthday--I mean, "Sister Christian" was on the radio while I was driving! Did I freak out? Yes. Did they obviously play it just for me? Yes.

And now, without further ado, is the number one best Britney video of all time:



She is seriously at her prime in this video. SO PRETTY

*Oh dearest Blink 182, how I secretly still love thee

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I couldn't wait any longer

The number two best Britney video is (and probably number one best song):


Best part might just be at 0:53. B has a great shimmy. I also like how fun this makes school uniforms look...but I have seen school uniforms for sale at Kohl's or wherever, and they do NOT look like this. They look like this:


Keeping you on the edge of your seat till Friday

Just finished a paper, BAM! But before I did that, I did this:

WHY THIS GUY FROM THE SHOW "REVENGE" IS POTENTIALLY MY DREAM MAN


A. "You don't meet [hair] like that every dynasty."*
B. He's smiling! Jack enjoys life. I enjoy people who enjoy life.
C. Cool outfit
D. Jack loves dogs
E. Having a boat never hurts

Anyways. My birthday is in three (technically two, now that it's midnight) days, and you know what that means: Britney's birthday is also in three/two days! In her honor, I will be counting down my three favorite Britney Spears videos until our actual birthday.

The number three best Britney video is:



*Cartoon Chinese emperors are just asking to be paraphrased

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Science makes Maeby feel...[Elvis face]

School makes me feel...

The fact that I have one class left before I leave for Thanksgiving Break in California, which will be full of Canady Insanity of the best possible kind makes me feel...


The show "Revenge" makes me feel...

Yeah. You should all be watching this show.

And I am just going to do whatever I want for the next 96 or so hours.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Oh dear...we are in trouble...

I wanted so badly to put a video of Filch saying that in Harry Potter 2...but youtube failed me tonight.

Until I watched this a million times and forgave youtube for letting me down.



This is one of those nights where you look at your dog and are like, "Oh to be you. You don't have to do any research ever. You get to sit there all day and sleep, and then you get to play with stuff, and then you get to eat, and then you get loved by your human, and you are so happy."

Except I don't even get to say that to a dog in real life because I'm not allowed to have one in my apartment. So WHATEVER.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Throw some glitter make it rain

Adult Things as of Late
  1. Had a surprisingly effective study group last night for our lit theory midterm
  2. Last week I made a Power Point
  3. Updated my resume and wrote a totally bangin' cover letter (or at least I hope it was bangin'. We shall see)
  4. On the Kid Things list below, I offer to share my Twix bars
  5. My friend Annie had an adorable baby a little bit ago (if I have friends doing adult things, I am obviously an adult by association. It is science)
Kid Things
  1. Staying up late to watch pranks on youtube
  2. Spongebob macaroni and cheese for dinner
  3. Purse currently full of a 50-pack of Crayola markers and Twix bars (come find me if you want one; I will share)
  4. Lately I've been listening mostly to "Blow" by Ke$ha and "Somebody to Love" by J-Biebs
  5. Today's makeup is yesterday's makeup
  6. Bought a bouncy ball for fiddy cents at the grocery store
KIDS WIN! So now listen to this:

Saturday, October 29, 2011

How what should've been a crappy week turned into an awesome one




This morning I wrote a research paper. Every single night this week, I told myself, "Okay. Tonight is the night. You are pulling an all-nighter and writing this paper," but in the grand tradition of Academic Jordyn, it got written on the last possible day. Here are the things I did this week instead of writing:
  • Went to an awesome concert in Salt Lake with Candace: Lady Danville, Lenka, and my high school fave Jack's Mannequin. It was SO FUN, especially when Jack's Mannequin partied like it was 2006 with the old hits "The Mixed Tape," "Bruised," and "Dark Blue". They even busted out some Something Corporate with "Me and the Moon"...I was freaking out.

    I would've loved to hear "Hurricane"...but I'm not complaining.

     Not to mention that I left the concert with a new favorite band, Lady Danville. They were a little bit mind-blowing, especially because they sounded amazing live. Love them.
    Me with the cute boys of Lady Danville
    Candace and me, completely psyched
  • Played Dreamphone until 4 AM with Sarah just because. It was rather epic, and I have zero regrets.
  • Watched Hocus Pocus
  • Talked for approximately 20 hours about dating/boys/kissing/the like with the rest of the One Club, aka the coolest girls most people know
  • Practiced the "Party Rock Anthem" dance moves
  • Learned the chords for "Breaking Free" on the guitar
  • Played just about every ward directory game you could ever invent
  • Bought a crimping iron for my Halloween costume
  • Hung out with my mom, who is in town :)
Pretty big week, I'd say. 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

For added fun, try to find which of these songs is a Disney song!

In the last hour, I've had very intense one-person dance parties to the following songs (which I deserved, because I finally found a foothold in this research paper I'm supposed to be writing and needed to celebrate):

  • "We Didn't Start the Fire"--Billy Joel
  • "It Makes Me Ill"--NSYNC
  • "Battlefield"--Jordin Sparks
  • "Let the Rain"--Sara Bareilles
  • "Since You've Been Gone"--Aretha Franklin
  • "First Date"--Blink 182
  • "Don't Stop Believin"--Journey
  • "Why Should I Worry"--Billy Joel
  • "Sister Christian (acoustic)"--Night Ranger
And that is why I value my 5 Star-rated playlist on my iPod more than any other playlist on there.

Now I have to walk to class. I wish it wouldn't be weird for me to dance my way there.

Monday, October 24, 2011

19 Hilarious Pictures Say 19,000 Words

Wow, isn't it just hilarious that I'm exhausted all day long and then it's 2 AM and I'm wide awake? My brain is taking its annual Fall Break, where I stop trying to do anything for school and become addicted to internet.

In honor of both the middle of the night and of Halloween (the witching hour, if you will...wow that is perfect. I can't even believe how perfect it is), here are some hilarious haunted house reaction pictures that I saw a couple of weeks ago on the "Best Week Ever" blog. If you don't laugh out loud at least once, let me know, and I'll comfort you and help you overcome the problem in your life that is making you so sad. These seriously made me laugh hysterically. Check out that link, too--there are about thirty other pictures that are also SO funny.






















Happy week before Halloween!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Brought to you by Pinterest

Time for round two of Celebrity Yearbook:

Adrian Grenier
(thanks to Amy for the tip)

David Beckham

Bill Murray

Charlize Theron
(Trying and failing to hide her hottie status behind those big glasses)

Harrison Ford
(He's got that subtle smirk even at such a young age)

Heath Ledger...sad

Jeff Bridges
(Looking pretty fine, actually)

Keira Knightley
(...is precious)

Kim Kardashian

Orlando Bloom

Paul Newman

Michelle Pfeiffer
(Doesn't she look so perfect? Marcia Marcia Marcia)

And last but not least...

Jerry Seinfeld

Monday, October 3, 2011

New and Improved Gob

Today I had to draw a map of BYU campus from memory, and here's what I drew:


What year am I? Oh yeah, a fifth-year. If my grades were better, I could claim to be a prefect. And yet I don't know the south side of campus for crap. I also forgot the ESC, in which I've had two classes.

In other news, I'm going to get married someday, and I'd like that marriage to be exactly like Will Arnett and Christina Applegate's on the new show "Up All Night". I also think I deserve to have Maya Rudolph as a best friend. And I'm officially addicted to this show.


Thursday, September 29, 2011

Geez louise

Things I Can't Stop Doing Lately:

1. Having one-person dance parties to this song (and totally crushing on Pharrell, whom I just found out is a whopping 38 years old even though he looks 26):



2. Watching "Mad Men"
     a.) Having a love/hate relationship with Don Draper...STOP KISSING ALL THOSE GIRLS, geez louise

But DANG

     b.) Breathing a sigh of relief in regards to Peggy's haircut in Season 3

3. Thinking about/craving Chik-Fil-A

4. Coming up with wonderful ideas for my 23rd birthday party
     a.) Repeat of the great middle school dance party of 2010?
     b.) Britney Spears tribute? (B and I have the same birthday) Watch this tribute from this year's VMAs; it literally gives me goosebumps at the end when they're all dancing together. I love it soooo much.

Get More: 2011 VMA, Music
   
    c.) Combine those two ideas, since we were all jammin out to Britney in middle school anyways?

Major decisions I'm working with here, people.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

These problems matter

I'm in the middle of writing an essay about unrequited high school things, and all I can think of is this:



Seriously though, everyone is dumb in high school. I was SO DUMB.

That's all for now.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Jordyn 1, Stranger on Pinterest 0

Today during my ritual browsing of the "Everything" tab on Pinterest, I saw this picture pinned to a photography-themed board with the caption, "He looks so happy."


She is so right! He does look happy, doesn't he? What a touching scene of pure happiness in nature. Except that this is a robot elephant from Jungle Cruise at Disneyland. Not so artsy or cultured NOW, are we??!?!

Needless to say, I did not comment on the pin and break the news to the girl who posted it. I thought that would be a little too strident*, so I took the passive-aggressive high road and whined about it here.

*my mom's euphemism for bitchy

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Commence 17th grade

IT HAS BEEN FOREVER SINCE I BLOGGED LAST!

Things that are different since then:
  1. The Blogger Dashboard--but I can dig it. I just can't find some things sometimes. Like how to title a post? [edit: I found it]
  2. I now live on the third floor of my building instead of the first floor. I will always remember the freaking AWESOME times of that apartment with quite an eclectic and awesome mix of roommates...you all know who you are. Seriously I really, really, really, really love almost all of you.
  3. My new roommates are my oldest friends in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Excessive punctuation NECESSARY. Every day is the BEST. Carly and I have wands* and duel* (but never using Sectumsempra. Or A.K., obviously) on a regular basis, and Tabby and I are perfecting every song from her Backstreet Boys Millenium sheet music*. And here are the three of us on the pioneer trek in high school.
4. I am in my last semester of classes**! It is insane in the membrane. I wish I'd had a blog when I was a freshman that I could link you to...oh well, I will just tell you what that blog would've said.

September 2007: OH EM GEE I AM IN COLLEGE I HAVE A DORM ROOM! I eat in the Cougareat everyday! I wonder if I will get fat! I watch "The Office" a LOT!
October 2007: OH EM GEE my new friends are SOOOOOOO COOOOOUUUUUUULLLLLLL! We are going to be figure skaters for Halloween! I bet we won't look slutty! [sidenote: we did]
November 2007: HOLY CRAP I have been here for two months already! I know everything there is to know about college! I am wise! Except I haven't been to my Geology 101 class in a week! I love Snickers ice cream bars from the dorm vending machines!
December 2007: I have bad grades. But I'm having FUN!

That's basically my first college semester in a nutshell. I think I've matured a little bit...I mean, I did just start watching "Mad Men"**...but I also still have legitimate trouble finding the MARB*, so I'm pretty sure I actually am the same person. (Not that I will ever need to go to the MARB ever, ever again)

5. I get to read young adult books ALL SEMESTER LONG since I'm taking Young Adult Literature aka English 420*. It is the BEST, since those are typically the only books I want to read anyways*.

Yes, things are pretty good. Oh, and I added up all the *kid and **adult things in these, and the kid things won by a freaking landslide with a score of 6 to 2.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Hit me baby one more time

Today I have been reflecting on the past.

My Childhood Celebrity Crushes


Lee Thompson Young
 Jett Jackson: making Zoog Disney steamy hot (and diverse!) between the years 1998 and 2001.

Antonio Banderas in The Mask of Zorro (and then later in Spy Kids)
I saw Zorro when I was nine years old, and I loved it so much that I wrote about Señor Banderas in my journal. IN MY JOURNAL. Like a crazy person. 

Carlos from "The Magic School Bus"
 Carlos was the class clown whom everyone hated but, I'm assuming, secretly lusted because he was the cutest one there. Plus did you know that the guy who does his voice is in Mean Girls? He's the guy who says, "It only counts if you see nipple." That's only a lot bit depressing.

Eric Matthews from "Boy Meets World"
 He was ultra cute in the early seasons! He got fatter and funnier when they went to college (well, who doesn't? Har dee har har).

Derek Jeter
 I loooooooved Derek Jeter--I first noticed him during his Mariah Carey phase. He was/is super hot.

Devon Sawa in Little Giants
I think I have talked about this crush before, but he was so cute that it is worth another mention.

Yeah Yeah in Sandlot
Benny was the hottest, but I loved Yeah Yeah! He was precious and said hilarious crap all the time.

JTT
Three letters to describe this three-lettered little stud: D, U, and H

In case that wasn't clear, I was trying to say duh.

That dude from Motocrossed
He was very, very cute. Except why isn't there any kissing at the end?!?!?!

Thank you, '90s-era entertainment, for providing such cute boys for Little Jordyn to obsess over. Besides Antonio Banderas, who is in fact, a grown man.