Monday, January 31, 2011

Loyal to Timberlake Since 1998

Happy birthday to Justin Timberlake! He's 30 years old today, if you can believe that. Here's a song I did not appreciate when it originally came out--I thought it was boring and lame, but it's actually kind of beautiful...the music video is hard to watch though. They look completely crazy. And who told JC to wear a turtleneck made of pantyhose?!

Please do me a solid and check out the birthday boy's face at 1:10...I know he's got a gift for comedy and all, but I have a feeling he wasn't angling for laughs.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tengo miedo

MY WORST NIGHTMARES
  1. Being on the kiss cam at a sporting event
  2. Being randomly chosen as the "one lucky fan sitting in this seat" who gets a chance to win _____ by accomplishing some set of embarrassing and/or really hard tasks in front of the whole audience at a sporting event
  3. Scuba diving and being swarmed by fish
  4. Losing my ticket to the Bon Jovi concert in March
  5. Graduating college in December without any ideas for the future
  6. Driving over a cliff
  7. Losing my ipod
  8. Breaking my ipod
  9. Creepy dudes sneaking in through the window
  10. Having boring kids who hate reading and have zero imagination
  11. Having a bedwetting relapse

Monday, January 24, 2011

Nobbin with all the muckety-mucks

I always try to deny how much I love famous people. Yes, I know they are humans just like you and me, but they are humans that we recognize without having ever actually seen them in real life.

So anyways, my best girls and I moseyed on up to Park City this weekend for the Sundance Film Festival! We couldn't get tickets to any of the movies, but I hadn't actually done any research on this year's batch anyways so honestly I have no idea what we were missing. As usual, ignorance was bliss.

The bad news:
  1. I had heard a sick rumor that Robert Downey Jr. had been spotted strolling the streets of Park City, and I had a near heart attack. Were my dreams about to come true?? Was I finally going to meet RDJ and rub it in the face of every single person who had ever laughed at me in London (ahem, Becky Hayes) when I finally took a picture with him and made it my facebook profile picture? (Yes I know; when I dream I really shoot for the moon) But no. We didn't see him anywhere.
  2. It was FREEZING.
  3. Lunch cost $16.
  4. The shuttle back to the parking lot was like an hour late.

The good news:

  1. Lunch was reeeeeally good
  2. We met a lot of famous people! And not just like "Oh look it's the guy from the Free Credit Report.com commercials" but people I actually really like!

Carly and I falling in love with Hugh Dancy. Large Marge woos a sexy Burberry model!

Ah mah gahsh it's James Franco! This was insane in the membrane. He was being mobbed with people and it was actually kind of embarrassing for all of us commoners. I wish I could've shared a sympathetic eye roll with him. (Even though it's not like I was above taking a picture of him myself.)

Once upon a time (last winter), Amy and I were sucked into the emotional whirlpool that is "The Bachelor." Flash forward one year later: whaddya know we're best friends with Tenley. She dodged a bullet anyways because her new man Kiptyn is way cuter than that idiot Pavelka.

I mean haha I was kidding I don't love "The Bachelor"...remember, I'm an English major and have far too much taste for that mindless, juvenile garbage!



We also met Jenny Slate who was on "SNL" last season! Seriously love her--last year our apartment was obsessed with the "SNL" sketch about the car horns, and no I don't just think it was because we watched it over and over in the middle of the night. And who doesn't love Marcel the Shell, which she wrote and voiced?

Plus she was super nice and kept telling us how flattered she was that we wanted to take pictures with her and talk to her and stuff. I'm proud to say I didn't say anything stupid to her, like that I follow her Twitter and would happily dog-sit for her or something like that. (Doesn't make those things untrue.)




J.Lo is truly painful to watch. Doesn't make it not funny! "Private Benjamin, right?"

We also met Patrick Wilson really quickly...he's just as hot in real life. Unfortunately he didn't sing for us. Maybe because we didn't ask.

Some may call me shameless, some may plan to do so behind my back...but to them I say...

Well, nothing actually, since I have a paralyzing fear of confrontation. But I have no regrets! This was an awesome day! And I LOVE FAMOUS PEOPLE!

Friday, January 21, 2011

I wanna be a Huxtable

The first ten seconds of this clip from this week's "Community" episode are so freaking funny. (The rest of it is just regular.) And if for some reason you don't like "The Cosby Show," then you must have crap for brains because it is a classic and Bill Cosby is way cool.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I chose looks, you chose books*

Last year...or maybe two years ago?...I blogged a list of all the notes I wrote to myself in the margins of my Mead Five Star 5 subject notebook. Wanna know what I was thinking about last semester?

"I am SO SWEATY I CAN'T BELIEVE IT"

"ah mah gahsh" (this was written the day Erin and I saw James Marsden)

"Things I Hate, updated: puzzles, Home Depot, fundraising, voicemails"

"I'm totally crushing"

"Sometimes [name withheld...know that it is a female] is a buttwipe not all the time, but sometimes"

"Isn't it strange that one day my nose can hold in all its fluids, and today they're all dripping out? This is disgusting Seriously I am gross"

"the girl in front of me just moved her desk RIGHT ON TOP OF MY FOOT AAAHHH"

"I don't love the word 'spouse'"

"Words I do not like: lovemaking"

"All of our time's spent in flashes of light"

"I think English majors secretly hate each other"

"YAH TRICK USA"

"OK Waiting for Godot? WAITING FOR GUFFMAN ahhhh"

"I think I'm going to have the Cranberries song 'Dreams' stuck in my head for this whole semester"

"I hate those blue pens. Never try anything new ever again"

"Okay I'm sorry but tattoos are cool"

"I can't stop staring at my beautiful fingernails"

"How am I so hard on all my shoes? They always look like crap too early in life. They're like Chelsea Handler"

"OMG Mandy Patinkin!"

"Ben Franklin is so creepy"

"Jung says...he's done with Sergio"

"I just drooled all over my desk NOT A JOKE it REALLY happened"

"Things I Dislike: old cartoons like those Steamboat Willie things, this presentation, Bs that think they're above accepting treats"

I think I already threw away my Comms 101 class notes, which was mostly full of cute little messages like "NO ONE IN THIS CLASS HAS BRAINS" and "HUNGRY."

*Obviously this is from Matilda.

In other news:

Friday, January 14, 2011

Casual Post Friday

I was just reading the NY Times review of the new Vince Vaughn/Kevin James movie, which I am not super interested in seeing...the previews have revealed it to be the type of movie during which I will be uncomfortably nervous about how events will play out. Meet the Parents is one such movie--I feel too bad for Ben Stiller to really enjoy it. The stuff is generally not his fault! It's not FAIR!!!

Anyways. Here is a sentence from the review, by A.O. Scott:

"To ask if Mr. Vaughn and Ms. [Jennifer] Connelly have any chemistry is to invoke the wrong science; extreme disparities of size and shape suggest, instead, a fascinating problem of zoology, as if a whippet had decided to cohabit with a yak."

HAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant!!

In other news, today I saw a girl on campus dressed exactly like this (and it wasn't in a sweet, she-doesn't-care-about-fashion kind of way--this girl CARED):

This whole hipster thing is officially out of control.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Four: repeat steps one through three...*

About a month ago, my great friend Large Marge tagged me in one of these survey things, for which I am a huge sucker. I love filling out forms!

4 shows I watch:
(I'm taking this to mean shows I've been watching recently)
-Psych
-Seinfeld
-The Bachelor
-Pretty Little Liars...it's addicting! I'm sorry!

4 things I'm passionate about:
-family
-friends
-church
-The Sims 3

4 phrases I say a lot:
-Buzzkill
-crazy crap
-stupididiot (yes, it is one word, and it is an adjective)
-sphincter

4 things I've learned from the past:
-if one actually does the reading prior to class, school can be enjoyable and interesting
-if one tucks one's pants into one's pair of tall Halloween socks, one's jeans don't bunch up atop one's boots when one tucks aforementioned jeans into aforementioned boots
-even if things seem really really crappy, it'll get better
-"Time takes time, you know"--Ben Folds

4 things I did yesterday:
-fell asleep in Physical Science. My sister said that I kept picking up/playing with my iClicker while I was out.
-enjoyed Britney's new song
-got briefly mentioned on Sassy Curmudgeon's Twitter!!!!!
-felt like an idiot in my Spanish class

4 places I would love to visit:
-I have to copy Carly: Harry Potter World
-New York City
-Amsterdam
-the kingdom in Tangled

4 things I'm looking forward to:
-long weekend!
-Disneyland sometime in the future
-the next song on my Pandora
-Bon Jovi concert in March!

4 things I love about winter:
-birthday
-Christmastime
-playing games at Hernando's Hideaway with my family and with mis amigas
-...am drawing a serious blank for a 4th thing. And those other three are things that only apply to December. WINTER SUCKS

Anyways. Enjoy your Thursday evening.

*an excerpt from the STUPIDEST SONG OF ALL TIME

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

No words, just this:

Why did today feel so long?

Monday, January 10, 2011

I'm not a girl, not yet a grown-up

My main resolution for 2011 is to just act like an adult already...at least in the areas of my life where I tend to act like a huge freaking baby.
Adult things I did today:
  1. Drove roommate to mechanic
  2. Got to work (relatively) on time
  3. Dug my way through some of the 123 voicemails I must answer while my supervisor is on maternity leave
  4. Put gas in my car
  5. Got to class (relatively) on time
  6. Wore earrings
  7. Wore business casual all day
  8. Went to the gym
  9. Watched "The Bachelor"

Kid things I did today:

  1. Didn't shower
  2. Wore a mood ring to work and then to class
  3. Ate two Hershey's nuggets for breakfast
  4. Tweeted about the Baby Sitters' Club
  5. Seriously loved "Favorite Girl" by Justin Bieber when it came up on my Pandora
  6. Stared shamelessly at the (limited number of) hot boys in my classes

The numbers are there, folks. Today, I was (generally) an adult!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Everything you read here is TRUE

CHRISTMAS BREAK HIGHLIGHTS:
  • scored Toy Story 1, 2, and 3 on DVD, along with Beauty and the Beast, Overboard, The House Bunny, Persuasion, "Seinfeld" season 4, and Get Smart (which I bought for myself for the low, low price of $3.75. Seriously.)
  • played with my family ALL THE TIME. I rarely left my house/changed out of my pj's. It was amazing. I don't know how many times we played Settlers of Catan, in which each one of us did and said things we're not proud of, but that's just how it goes.
  • trekked up to Hernando's Hideaway in Idaho Springs, once with the family, once with Tabby and Carly (and my dad, for the roads were treacherous).
  • became an expert at The Sims 3, thanks to the B.R.E. Alex Thomas. I hate to say it, but this game blows the original Sims out of the freaking water!!!
  • made these works of art with my sisters: While making R2-D2, I believe I said the words, "I think this is my 5th symphony." In all fairness, I made the C-3PO first--I think he's second only to Han Solo as my favorite Star Wars character.
  • created countless epic Mad Libs on the drive back to Provo: Please note our use of "virgin" as an adjective, and "tonsil hockey" as a type of sport. I wish I could take credit for those, but I can't.
  • This little encounter at the Wendy's in Fruita, Colorado:

Cashier: My lips were so chapped, I put mayonnaise on them.

Me: [stares in polite horror]

Cashier: I put lipstick on over it so no one could tell!

Me: [eyes rolling back into skull with disgust]

Cashier: Sure tastes good though!

Me: [lying on ground in fetal position]

I don't think there's anything else I need to say.