Monday, May 30, 2011

This is actually a decent summary of my summer vacation thus far

RECENT KID THINGS I'VE DONE
  1. Even though I bought two Jane Austen books last week, I started with The Hunger Games.
  2. While watching "The Bachelorette" tonight, I laughed insensitively through the previews of Ashley's inevitable heartbreak at Bentley's hands
  3. Glitter polish on fingers and toes
  4. I've listened to "Party in the USA" like a million times already this week
  5. And it's Monday
  6. Last week my co-workers and I watched video footage of the now-defunct Alien Encounter ride at Disneyworld to see if it was actually scary (obviously it was)
RECENT ADULT THINGS I'VE DONE
  1. Today while working at EFY check-in, for the first time, no one asked me if I needed help getting my wristband/lanyard/t-shirt or finding my mom or dad. I think it's just because I was wearing my official name tag, but still
  2. I haven't played The Sims for like two weeks
  3. I bought Fletch for $5 at Wal-Mart (adults like this movie)
  4. Left my apartment for work at 8:20 this morning!!!!
And here is a picture I found of little me singing in an inflatable pool

Friday, May 27, 2011

Mother Nature is my homegirl

Yesterday my life was epic for like five consecutive minutes while I drove home from a wallet-lightening trip to Barnes and Noble (I've been really book-thirsty lately), thanks to a killer sunset and "Don't Stop Believing" on the radio. It was one of those times when nature, your soul, and 103.5 FM (The Arrow) just align, and you forget that your job is on the brink of taking over your life and that you're not really that accomplished for a 22-year-old because at this moment, everything in the universe is PERFECT.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I am in the wrong country

Here is my oyster card tube pass from my London study abroad in 2008:

It was a little bit dark when I took that picture, but also I was very, very tan! Seriously.

Here are the oyster cards you can get in London this year:


I WANT TO GO TO THERE

Tobias, you blowhard

A few weeks ago I was just you know, playing some Sims 3, when suddenly one of the built-in characters came up and started talking to my person. His name was GOBIAS KOFFI. Two worlds have collided: "Arrested Development" and Sims 3! At last!

Here's the only AD clip involving Gobias Industries ("As in, 'Go buy us a cup of coffee!'") I could find on Youtube...


I wish I hadn't been alone while witnessing this. I was completely freaking out. I mean, his outfit is perfect, his face is perfect...


Even his personality is PERFECT. I'd thought the Never Nude option was a hilarious coincidence, but it was intentional! 

Taken by my state-of-the-art cell phone camera

It is seriously perfect. He looks exactly like Tobias.

They even made a biography for him!
You might not be able to read this either. It says, "Gobias Koffi is a well-meaning single Sim who just hasn't met the right woman. Is this because he actually prefers the company of his male friends?"

This was even more exciting than the time I found an Avril Lavigne Sim in the Sims 1 Superstar expansion pack! ...and that comment alone has made this day a win for Kid Jordyn and a brutal loss for Adult Jordyn.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Dang

Okay, I know that "Glee" has become kind of ridiculous and lost its touch since its glorious first season...but this clip blew my BRAINS a second ago. Mercedes is the best thing this show has right now (besides the return of Jesse St. James, who is seriously my favorite singer on that entire show), and this song is just bangin' to begin with.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

This is not a democracy, it's a cheer-ocracy*

(Thank you Becky Hayes for this brilliant list idea)

Things That Were Cool in the Early 2000s and Aren't Anymore:
  1. Freddie Prinze Jr.
  2. choker necklaces
  3. belly button rings
  4. zigzag parts
  5. Mudd brand jeans
  6. The WB
  7. Christy Carlson Romano
  8. putting cherry images on clothing
  9. Baby Bottle Pops
  10. Hoobastank**
  11. basically every single item of clothing worn in the movie Smart House
  12. Jessica Simpson
  13. NOW cds
  14. Gelly Roll pens
  15. Disney Channel Original Movies***
  16. songs that have parentheses in their titles
  17. and songs that have a U for "you," etc.
  18. Abercrombie and Fitch
  19. Skechers
  20. Nerd Ropes
  21. bucket hats****
This is going to be an ongoing project, I believe.

Out of all the trends from that era, can you believe that this is the guy whose coolness has stood the test of time?



*For the record, Bring It On is still cool
**WAS NEVER TRULY COOL
***personal fave: Motocrossed (which was a very tough decision, by the way)
****even though I still believe that this was Britney's best look:

The exact look I was going for in 6th grade (hint: I failed miserably)

Friday, May 20, 2011

Least informative movie review ever

Sexy, right?

So I was just imdb-ing Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, which I saw last night at midnight and very much enjoyed--it's the second best Pirates movie, definitely. Nothing will ever come close to the original, obviously, but this one had some really good moments (most of which happened during the second half--the first half seemed a little jumbled for some reason. Not sure exactly what I mean by that, but it just didn't really flow until we met up with Blackbeard, who is a totally bitchin bad guy), such as the mermaid battle, which was AWESOME!!

Anyways, while I was imdb-ing, I saw this picture and honestly, for a few seconds, I thought it was Johnny Depp:

But no. It's a picture of JODIE FOSTER at the premiere! What has happened to her??! She looks like if Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson had had a love child in Something's Gotta Give. Bleh.

The similarities are uncanny

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Some things* are always, always funny

Okay. I fully realize that I am as addicted to "Parks and Rec" as I was to "My So-Called Life," which means that I will not stop posting clips from it until Netflix runs out of episodes for me to watch. I am a crazy person, and sometimes I NEED to share things with someone else, even if it's just over the internet.

So here is something that just made me laugh hysterically out loud while alone in my room. The build-up to the grand finale of the scene is serious perfection.



In other news, if anyone wants some Big K orange soda, stop by my place because no one drank any of it at our work party today. If I had thought that I'd be taking it home with me, I would've at least gotten a drink with caffeine in it.

*Like farts

Monday, May 16, 2011

Sometimes I really can't choose between Amy Poehler and Tina Fey

The theme of this weekend was "Parks and Recreation". This show is KILLING me! And Alex has been telling me for like two years to watch it faithfully, and I never really listened to her, but I know now that she was RIGHT!



This scene also made me happily explode.

(I apologize for the anatomy reference in this clip...but not really because I almost died when I watched this, and it's because of Rashida Jones' smile after she says it. It is my favorite face ever.)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Wanna be a victim, ready for abduction

I was a little worried about this coming summer. Three of my best friends are no longer in my immediate vicinity, everyone I know is doing awesome things that have the potential to be life-changers while I am changing nothing (same job, same apartment, same stupid roots growing out in my hair)...so yes, I was initially prepared to wallow in self pity for at least a month.

However

This is actually shaping up to be one hella awesome summer.

Just off the top of my head:
  • Oh, not much, just a JOURNEY and FOREIGNER and NIGHT RANGER CONCERT!!!! 



  • The Seven Peaks/Trafalga Pass of All Passes and the fact that like a million of my favorite people have them! This thing has already paid for itself* with two games of mini golf and laser tag. Plus it's perfect to use right now because of all this stupid rain, since Trafalga offers many indoor activities. Like a bad-a laser tag.




  • The song "E.T." by Katy Perry...I can't help it, I love it. Hear that, Jessica Bodily? I LOVE IT.
  • We've also managed to find a way onto the roof of our building, which will be a prime tanning location until Seven Peaks opens. I may or may not have sliced my hand last week while climbing down through the escape hatch, but I needed to learn a lesson in finesse anyway. Now I know: I don't have any.

Verdict: Provo summers are the bomb, and I was crazy to forget that.

*I haven't done the math or anything...I mean that it would have already paid for itself if Fun could convert into dollars because I have definitely already had forty dollars' worth of fun.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Weighing on my mind

I don't know exactly what celebrities do to earn my trust; it's a gut reaction. I just do or don't.

And I'm not saying I trust them to, you know, make a good movie or whatever...I'm saying that I would trust them with my life--or just an embarrassing secret.

CELEBRITIES I TRUST
  • Colin Firth
  • Jason Bateman
  • Morgan Freeman (so cliche--everyone trusts him)
  • Michael Caine
  • Steve Carell
  • Taye Diggs
  • Dennis Quaid
  • James Marsden
  • Harry Connick, Jr.
  • Denzel Washington
  • Judi Dench
  • Emma Thompson
  • Matt Damon
  • Tina Fey
  • Donald Faison
  • Kenneth Branagh
  • Bette Midler

Want a sample of who I don't trust?

JUST OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD
  • Anne Hathaway
  • Christian Bale
  • James Franco
  • Mickey Rourke (so cliche--no one trusts him)
  • Alec Baldwin
  • Chris Harrison
  • Miley Cyrus
  • Diane Keaton