Thursday, February 2, 2012

Someone should play me a song on the world's smallest violin

There is this awesome website which my estranged BFF Becky showed me last year called Thought Catalog, where they post essays mostly about dating/pop culture/feelings--basically the topics about which I most want to read. Today they posted one by Brandon Scott Gorrell called "10 Things You Do When You Just Don't Want to Deal with People," and it made me laugh really hard because he had written down some of my exact behaviors of late. Check this out:


"Stay in bed until noon or 1 p.m. watching Netflix Instant under the pretext that you’re bored and that there’s nothing to do while aware that this behavior is actually a self-perpetuating loop in which continually and passively affirming that you’re bored and that there’s nothing to do by not doing anything at all reinforces the boring concrete reality that nothing is happening (and that it’d likely to cease if you got out of bed and did things)."

I believe yesterday I fessed up to this exact thing right here on this blog.

 "Hear someone coming up the stairs toward your room and freeze when they knock on your door, attempting to remain motionless and silent. Once the person leaves, walk as quietly to the door as possible and lock it." 

Yeah. Someday, when my life is a movie, there will be a montage of me doing this throughout my lifetime (at all ages. I've never liked answering the door while I'm home alone. Either it is a stranger and thus potentially a burglar or rapist, or it is someone who knows me and now knows that I am sitting at home by myself and not out doing something cool), including like five times in the last week.

"Field a few emails and texts that aren’t ‘good enough,’ as if any text or email could be ‘good enough’ in the state you’re in. The only text/ email you could receive that could possibly be good enough is one from the ex you’re still kind of in love with saying that she’s hopeless without you and that she needs you to continue living, or one from someone offering a huge contract that will double your income for the next six months, etc."

I would gladly accept an email from either a dream man or from a job that would help me get rich quick. Alas, 98% of the emails I get are just ads for things. Why do I ever agree to be on websites' mailing lists?!


You and me, Ralphie. We get it.

You should really read the whole essay; it rocks and is funny and true.

The good thing is that even when I decide to have a nice little Sulk Day, I know that I have a bunch of kick-a friends and family and fun things around me. And I should really read this article from Pres. Monson every morning when I wake up and just quit being such a baby.

1 comment:

  1. BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

    ....HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA.....

    * wipes tears *

    I'm sorry, but I think I played that Ralphie clip 42 times just now.

    ReplyDelete

Give it to me straight.