Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Top Canady Insanity Moments in History

SO I thought that I was done with Blogspot forever and had graduated to the more-sophisticated platform tumblr...but I was so wrong. I can't quit Blogspot; it's tradition! A tradition with myself1. So here I am.

Anyway, Erin's birthday is next week, and since she is in missionary mode and is essentially refusing to ask for any secular goodies2, I cooked up some homemade gifts that I'm 100% sure she's going to love. One such gift was a list of the top Canady Insanity moments in the history of our family. And now I'm going to share (some of) that list.

The Top Canady Insanity Moments in History

- The time Erin knocked over the Christmas tree

- Young Jordyn getting put in the shower fully clothed to diffuse a world record temper tantrum

- Tricia sobbing while we were taking family photos: "I'm the only one taking this seriously" .. This was the end result of that photo shoot:



- Tricia sobbing when our guinea pig died after living for seven years, which is well past the typical guinea pig life span: "I'm the only one who really loved her"

- Austin's Hate List, which was on his bulletin board when he was about six or maybe seven..? Not sure. Anyway, it listed all of our names with different values next to them. Some were numbers, some were sentences. At the bottom of the page, it said, "The only way to get off this list is to give me anything I want."

- When Erin and I were 11 and 14, respectively, we took tennis lessons at the neighborhood pool in a class full of eight-year-olds. We were seriously the only ones over the age of nine3.

- Two words: Potty Pager. This is not a story I want any future, potential employers to find on a google search of my name, so it's one I can only tell in person

- THE GREEN SNOWPANTS We all had to wear them at least once. Erin and I each had to wear them for YEARS. If they still fit, we still had to wear them. They were awful and so embarrassing, and they made us walk like Randy in A Christmas Story...but NO REGRETS because kids aren't supposed to look cool and trendy; they're supposed to look goofy and colorful, so we nailed it. And besides, I don't trust people who didn't have at least a slight awkward phase4.


Also, I feel like I've misrepresented Erin's actual cuteness, so here's a picture of how pretty she is:


Erin is an AWESOME missionary, and I know that every single person she meets in Canada loves her to pieces, just like everyone she meets in America does.

1.That's...............pretty sad
2.Also, I am poor right now
3.and we were the BEST IN THE CLASS
4.Even though the green snowpants were really just the very beginning of my awkward phase

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Super Highs and Mild Lows

ADULT THINGS IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS:
  • Moved out of Provo!
  • I just used some Clorox bleach whilst cleaning my bathroom
KID THINGS IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS:
  • Lost all control at the Taylor Swift concert with my little sister Tricia
    • Made a sign that was almost too clever (you see, Tricia is 15, we were in section 22, and it's 2013...all numbers that are directly related to Taylor. We had to take advantage.)

    • Were this close to her when she sang "Our Song" 


    • Had our minds blown by the huge amazing show. Seriously unforgettable. I will definitely be there when Taylor's next tour comes around, and I highly recommend you be there too!!

  • My car died :( :( :( I'm including this in the kid list because it was largely my fault. I don't want to talk about this anymore.
  • Stopped blow-drying/straightening/using heat of any kind on my hair. Okay, I did blow-dry and curl my hair for the Taylor concert. But that means I've only actually done my hair once in the last 30 days. I am a WILD WOMAN
  • Can hardly wait to watch the season premiere of Pretty Little Liars tomorrow online porque we don't have cable in our new apartment.
Obviously Kid Jordyn has this one in the bag.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Look Rick, I'm in an Old Person Parade

Last night, as witnesses can tell you, I overdosed on caffeine. I'm never drinking Diet Coke after taking a lot of Excedrin again. I could actually feel my heart beating really rapidly, and I finally knew what the diet pill users I used to screw over communicate with felt like!

It was like this:



And also a lot like this:



Anyway. There are some things in life that jack up my adrenaline and cause a faux caffeine overdose. Here are those things:
  •  Roller coasters, duh
  • Theme parks in general
  • Watching a movie I love with someone who hasn't seen it yet and then they love it too
  • Awesome henna tattoos*
  • Creating a perfect costume
  • Road trips*
  • Playing with and/or holding a puppy (or any small fluffy animal, really) (I guess it doesn't really need to be small)
  • Amazing (or even mediocre) concerts
  • Cutting and/or dyeing my hair
  • Talking about feelings wif mah friendz*
  • Epic waterfalls
  • Surprising someone with a perfect gift
  • Holidays
Plus, this weekend I am going to St. George, and the trip will include things from this list!!! (Indicated by asterisk)

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Got some dirt on my shoulder; could you brush it off for me?

I'm looking pretty to' up right now because I didn't wash my hair today*, so I felt like doing a bit of bragging. I mean it's not like I have kids or husbands to dote on these days, so let me have my victories!

Here are my favorite nail art experiments of late:

I've been blowing up Instagram with these babies, which I'm sure is annoying, but I can't help it. Those filters just make my hands look so tan!

The other thing is, I'm kind of running out of ideas, so please tell me some cool things to try if you want...

*or yesterday, shh

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Surprise Victory

ADULT JORDYN
1. Set up a savings account after reading a series of financial tips for work
2. Got my car's oil changed today
3. AND got my tires rotated
4. A lot of my friends are pregnant
5. I've been using the gym at my office
6. I bought Greek yogurt last time I bought groceries
7. I did a mobile deposit of a check today

KID JORDYN
1. Am faithfully watching Pretty Little Liars and The Vampire Diaries every. single. week. It's kind of my reason for living right now
    1a. Went into a blinding rage spiral after seeing a PLL spoiler on Facebook today
    1b. Spent 60% of the Oscars discussing which Vampire Diaries guys are hottest
2. Bought Demi Lovato's song "Heart Attack" at midnight on Sunday
3. AND have listened to it on repeat on my drive to and from work

ADULT JORDYN WINS! Possibly for the first time in history?

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentine's Day Cheer continued

Last night I made an amazing Valentine's Day playlist. Here are some of the songs that have put me in a seriously good mood all day:

"Eternal Flame" - The Bangles
"PYT" - Michael Jackson
"Dream Weaver" - Gary Wright (fun fact: this is my future husband's ringtone)
"Crazy in Love" - Beyonce
"Parachute" - Ingrid Michaelson
"Young Dumb and in Love" - Mat Kearney
"Love Me Do" - The Beatles
"(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To" - Weezer
"You Make Loving Fun" - Fleetwood Mac
"New Year's Eves" - Greg Laswell
"Try a Little Tenderness" - Otis Redding
"You're My Only Shorty" - Demi Lovato
"I'll Never Break Your Heart" - Backstreet Boys
"Be My Baby" - The Ronettes
"Treacherous," "Sparks Fly," "Mine," "Stay Stay Stay," "Fearless," etc. - Taylor Swift

...and many, many, many more. I love Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Valentine's Day Cheer

I love Valentine's Day! I mean, I'm single, so it could technically be better, but every holiday is FUN! Plus I got some Dove hearts and festive socks from my mom, so I am ready to rock.

I'm hoping my office will be decorated by Gilderoy Lockhart tomorrow. Not holding my breath, but a girl can dream.

Here is a clip from Grey's Anatomy that makes me swoon:



My second-favorite line in that entire show. (This is my first-favorite) Too bad both of them died last season, I hear. But I'm sure Mark Sloan makes a goooood-looking ghost.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Things are Happening!



The line, "Things are happening!" always gets stuck in my head during times of change, good or bad.

In this case, the things are good!! I no longer write descriptions of diet pills: I am now a social media intern! I already love my job, even though I still feel like this around everyone at my new office:


Does anyone else suffer from Completely Boring Disease when they start a new job? I literally can think of nothing interesting/funny/normal to say to anyone all day long. It is so close to being on a date, except that I have to buy my own food :(

But seriously, I love my new job!! They even have a fitness center. And I actually used it today. So yeah, I'm pretty much unstoppable.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Sundance 2013

This weekend my friends and I went to Park City to wander around the Sundance Film Festival!

This was my third time at the festival, and I didn't know what to expect. In 2011, we saw a bunch of awesome celebs, but last year we didn't see anyone. I thus went into the day expecting only to eat expensive food and have a cold face.

Fortunately, all of my expectations were proven wrong! We had a bargain meal, it was a sunny, balmy 30 degrees*, and we saw a crapload of movie stars!

Let's review the minutes.

12:00: sitting in Main Street Pizza and Noodle
Josh Radnor and Kathryn Hahn walk into the restaurant with their respective significant others and sit one table away from us. I'm facing Josh Radnor and freaking out because I just barely started watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. Oh, and because he is reallyreallyreally hot. I made eye contact with him about ten times because I was shamelessly staring. I'm sure I made quite an impression.

We took some stalker shots:


He's such a good listener!


Seriously this is how close we were sitting to them.

As they got up to leave, Kathryn Hahn turned around and caught Rachel and I staring at her. She smiled, waved, and said, "Hi!" And we were just like, "Hi!!!!!! :) :) :)"

3:00: Strolling up and down Main Street
Back story: this holiday season I mentally edited my Top 5 Male Celebrity list, adding Dermot Mulroney to it after watching The Family Stone four times. I found out he was in a Sundance movie this year and freaked out at the unlikely probability that we'd run into him.

WELL WE DID!!! He walked right past us, and my friends said, "JORDYN DID YOU SEE WHO THAT WAS WE HAVE TO GO TALK TO HIM," and I replied, "No!!!!"

Luckily they made me, even though I was really nervous. So we turn around and hustle after him, when a group of people stop him and ask him to sign a giant stack of pictures. I stand next to him like a freak, shaking with lusty excitement.


There is my hand in the corner. He is so so so so so attractive

So finally he signs all the photos, turns to me, grins, and says, "Hi, how are ya?" Because clearly he knew I'd been standing there like an idiot for like five minutes already. I was just like, "Good..." in a stupid high-pitched voice.


Look at this cheeser. Dang was I HAPPY! Basically still can't believe this happened. I floated away on a cloud.

3:15: Still on Main Street
Wallis says, "I just want a picture with Joseph Gordon-Levitt." Suddenly Joseph Gordon-Levitt walks past us. Seriously. She wished for it to happen, and it did. Unfortunately, he sped past on his way to an interview, and none of us got a good picture. We were close enough to see him smiling! Unsurprisingly, he is hot in person.

3:20: Main Street forever
We turn around and see Michael "George Michael Bluth" Cera walking past us. He was in a rush, too, so this was the only picture I got of him. And for all you know, it's just some skinny dude in a red hat. But it's him, I swear! 

"I'm Mr. Manager!"

3:45: Main Street aka Heaven
I met some beautiful huskies! Pretty sure this one's name is Sasha. They've been on Animal Planet! Celebrity dogs


3rd best celebrity encounter of the day

We also saw Chloe from 24, Tim Blake Nelson, and Tony Danza. Oh man, what a day.

*major upgrade from the 9 degrees we've been dealing with all month

Sunday, January 13, 2013

2012 was pretty okay

I know January is pretty much halfway over, but I never listed my 2012 highlights:

  • Graduated college and embarked on the super fun and exciting world of working adults
  • The Year of Crazy Good Vacations
  • London Olympics
  • Amazing concerts
    • Greg Laswell
    • The Killers
    • Ingrid Michaelson
    • Demi Lovato
    • Mat Kearney
    • Miranda Sings
  • Chopped 7 inches off my hair in March, dyed it brown in December
  • Taylor Swift's Red came out, and it exceeded my high expectations. Yes, this is a 2012 highlight. Best songs: "Red," "State of Grace," "All Too Well," "I Knew You Were Trouble," "Treacherous," "Holy Ground," "The Moment I Knew"
Here's a pic of my new hair, by the way--I love it so much!!

2012 wasn't all fun and games and beach vacations. Last year also involved panic attacks, rejection emails, tears, funerals, and idiotic boys, all of which are teaching me some undoubtedly valuable life lessons. If only each one had monetary value like tiles do in the Game of Life board game.